


Halloween in Hawkins 1987

by PepperRiley



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 01:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14274231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperRiley/pseuds/PepperRiley
Summary: Pepper Riley used to spend all of her summers in Hawkins traversing a complicated web of emotions with the boy-next-door: Steve Harrington. Now she's back two days before Halloween 1987 -her twentieth birthday- after not having seen Steve in two years and the two have to figure out where they stand with one another.





	1. Long Time No See

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic! Hope you enjoy it!

            Does anything sting quite like the nostalgia for a time or place you no longer belong? There’s a special type of hell reserved for streets that cemented their place in time when you had no choice in your own transformation. And on the occasions when you have the audacity to walk down them, they mock you with a distant echo of your former self, unfortunately usually a much happier and exceedingly more carefree version of the person you are today.

            These were the thoughts that plagued Pepper Riley as she drove her shitty little beater in to Hawkins, Indiana. She hadn’t been back in four years, well, four summers to be precise.

            Hawkins wasn’t exactly what one might consider a summer town, but since she was a child, Pepper had spent her summers there, visiting her Grandma Penny, and traversing a web of complicated emotional bullshit with the boy next door, Steve Harrington. Maybe it was cute when she was sixteen, but at twenty she wasn’t looking to have her heart kicked in the ass again, at least not by someone who used more hairspray than her.

            The last summer she visited he told her all the pretty little words she wanted to hear and maybe he meant them, she couldn’t know for sure, but he took almost everything, greedily and with ease. Or, if she was being honest with herself, and on this rare occasion she was, she gave him almost everything, excitedly and hopefully.

            The next time they saw each other was two years later, on her eighteenth birthday, Halloween, 1985. He and his cousin, Samantha, drove up to Lafayette, Indiana to celebrate with her. Samantha and Pepper had been thick as thieves since they were five years old, so she was excited to see her friends, even though she had no idea how to navigate her once close, and now complicated friendship, or whatever the fuck it was, with Steve.

            The night started out well and good, until Samantha excused herself to suck face with Pepper’s cousin Brad and left Pepper and Steve to their own devices. Steve took the opportunity to tell Pepper more delicious confessions and she ate them up. At least this time she was sure she knew they were bullshit, but their chemistry was so electric that she chose to believe them for the night. That was the night she gave him everything else. The next morning he kissed her goodbye on her doorstep and told her he hoped someday the timing would be right and they could be together. She laughed at him.

            “Save it, Harrington, I’m not sixteen anymore.” Pepper found these words escaping her lips as she relived the memory in full colour, driving down Hawkins’ gloomy side streets.

            She sighed, continuing to play their last encounter over in her mind. The hurt look on his face, his protesting that he wasn’t screwing around, and her insistence that she wasn’t stupid, until a fight inevitably ensued. The impromptu screaming match on her front porch ended with Steve pulling her in and kissing her, hard. This was met with Pepper pushing back harder and telling him to, “Fuck off back to Hawkins.”

            And he did.

            Now here she was, in Hawkins, two days before her twentieth birthday. Her mother had sent her on this pilgrimage to try and convince her grandmother that perhaps it’s time for her to pack up and move to Lafayette to be closer to everyone. Her mother had become increasingly preoccupied with how unsafe Hawkins had become, despite the lab having been shut down for nearly four years. Of everyone in her family, Pepper was the closest to her Grandma Penny, so she was the best bargaining chip her mother had. Pepper wanted to do this as much as she wanted a hole in the head, but her mom dangled the promise of a down payment on a new car for her birthday in front of her, so she packed up her suitcase and her heartache and hit the road.

            The thought of convincing her grandma to pack up her entire childhood into boxes and move across the state coupled with the fear that she might run into Steve was eclipsing her. She wasn’t ready to face the house, so she pulled into one of the places she loved so dearly as a child, Lucy’s Diner.

            Her car wheezed into the parking lot and she hopped out, the crisp October air hitting her face. The windows of the diner were lined with paper pumpkins, witches, and skeletons. Halloween was here.

            She strolled in and found her favourite seat, a corner booth next to a window, vacant. Pepper slid into the booth and pulled a paperback out of her purse, looking to unwind.

            After a moment, Iris, an older waitress with a greying bun, arrived tableside, pot of coffee in hand.

            “Pepper? Is that you?”        

            Pepper looked up to see the familiar face that had served her coffee and plates of French fries well into the long Indiana summer nights for many years prior, usually with Steve, Samantha, and Brad tucked along side her in the corner booth.  

            “Oh my God, Iris! It’s so good to see you.” She jumped up and hugged her.

            “It’s been a spell, hasn’t it?”

            “Four years.”

            Iris eyed the empty booth. “No Steve or Sam?”

            Pepper wanted to avoid the topic. “Ah, well, I just got in.”

            “I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you.”

            “Yep, can’t wait,” she lied.

            The rest of her lunch was uneventful. Pepper left Iris a sizeable tip, tucked her book back in her bag, and headed to her car.

 

 

            Pepper pulled up in front of her grandma’s house and although it had been four years, time hadn’t touched it. Sure, she’d seen her grandma many times in the interim, but always in Lafayette, not in the quaint brick two-storey that held more memories than it did tiny collectable spoons.

            She then looked to the house next door, at least what she could see of it peeking through the high trees that enveloped it. It finally occurred to her that at twenty-one, it was unlikely Steve lived next door with his parents anymore. She did know, however, that he was still in Hawkins. During a relatively recent phone call with his cousin Samantha, she casually mentioned going to see a movie with Steve.

            Pepper and Sam had remained in touch consistently since age five, whether by phone, letter, or summertime hi-jinx, the two were meant to remain friends. Samantha and Pepper’s closeness was only rivalled by her friendship with Steve. Pepper and Steve were it. They had been inseparable from the minute they met, a closeness that only grew with age.

 

*

            His first marriage proposal came at eleven, while they were shooting hoops on the playground.

            “Bet you can’t make the same shot.” Steve challenged her, tossing her the basketball.

            Pepper overshot and smoked Steve in the face. Immediately blood gushed from his nose and trickled down his chin. Shocked, he stumbled to the ground and sat on the jagged gravel, putting a hand to his nose and then examining the blood on his fingers. Pepper rushed to him, crying, and threw her arms around him, pulling him close in an attempt to comfort, but only succeeding in crushing his nose further.

            “Pep, Pep, oh my God, please stop.” He wriggled free of her grip.

            “Steve, I’m so sorry!” She ripped the sleeve off of her t-shirt and handed it to him.

            Despite the stinging pain and the blood pooling on his shirt, Steve was charmed that she was so much more upset about what had happened than he was. He was nervous, but he leaned forward and pecked her on the mouth, successfully stealing his first kiss.

            “Sorry, I got blood on you.” Steve looked at her sheepishly and even at eleven, a mop of hair hung over his eyes.

            She smiled at him. “You’re really gross.”

            “I promise I’ll kiss you better at our wedding.”

            “Our wedding?”

            He got up, offering her a hand. “Yeah stupid, when we get married.”

            “Who says I would ever marry you?” She accepted his hand and he pulled her up off the ground.

            “You’ll see.”

            While they didn’t talk marriage again until that fateful night in the pool when she was nearly sixteen, the two were never seen without one another every summer. When they weren’t together they’d send each other trinkets and letters, and during holidays Pepper always begged her mom that they spend them at Grandma Penny’s.

            By the time Pepper was fourteen, the two had never explicitly discussed their obvious feelings for one another, but it underscored every conversation and every silence. Neither was brave enough to lay it on the line, so significant glances and stupid jokes were their bread and butter.

            That was until the summer of 1981 when An American Werewolf in London was in theatres and Steve concocted a plan for them to sneak into it at The Hawk: he would go in to use the washroom and then let Pepper in the back door of the theatre while the usher wasn’t looking. Really sophisticated stuff.

            Sitting in the back of the dark movie theatre, Steve worked up the courage to grab her hand and much to his relief she continued to let him hold it. Their hearts raced in their chests as their palms grew sweatier. Steve thought he was going to climb out of his skin and finally, as people gruesomely died before their eyes, he turned to her and kissed her in the messy, awkward way fifteen-year-old boys kiss: too eager, too sloppy, and too big. But she didn’t mind, she was just excited it was finally happening and returned the kiss in all its awkward naivety. It was at that point the usher shone a light on them during his theatre checks.

            “Hey, knock it off!” Pepper and Steve looked like deer caught in the headlights.

            The usher, finally seeing their faces, realized these two were obviously not of age for the restricted film, concurrently the two realized they were completely fucked. Steve yanked Pepper out of her seat and the two ran like the wind, laughing the whole time.

            They reached an alleyway around the block, both panting and giggling. The pair leaned up against the brick wall of a Chinese restaurant. To this day, Pepper couldn’t eat eggrolls without remembering that night.

            “Great plan, Steve.”

            “I dunno, I feel like things worked out pretty good.” He flashed her his signature shit eating grin. “For me, at least.”

            She smiled back at him. “Me too.”  

            He pushed off the wall and offered her his hand. “Come here, Pepperoni.”

            She took it and he pulled her closer to him.

            As he leaned in, the back door of the restaurant opened and an employee emerged carrying a garbage bag, successfully interrupting their moment.

            “You kids get outta here. There’s no reason for you to be hanging around.”

            Steve gave him a little salute. “Sure thing. Come on Pep, let’s go.”

            The two began strolling home, hand in hand.

            About four blocks from home, Pepper dared to acknowledge the reality they were both dreading, secretly hoping that Steve would have an answer to the problem.

            “I’m leaving in two days,” Pepper lamented.

            Steve responded by gripping her hand tighter, as though the tighter he held on, the less likely she would go.

            She tried again. “I have to go home on Sunday.”

            Her words hung in the air for what felt like an eternity.

            “You’re always leaving.” He dropped her hand and they walked the rest of the way home in silence.

            Steve’s cool dismissal confused Pepper and she shed a secret tear, lagging behind him. Ahead of her, Steve bit his lip, trying not to let his own sadness betray him.

            The two came up to Penny’s lawn and by this time the silence had grown unbearable. Too many blocks had passed for him to apologize. He stood on the sidewalk, staring down at his feet, looking for the right words. Pepper stood in front of him, waiting for him to say anything at all. When no words came, she turned on her heel and started for the house.

            “You’re an asshole, Steven.”

            She only called him Steven when she was furious. He knew he was only making it worse by not stopping her, but she was already across the lawn and slamming the door.

            Steve was incredible at retreating, so he tucked his tail between his legs and loped the short distance home.      

 

            When Pepper stayed at her grandma’s, she slept in a basement guest room, one with a tiny window she used to sneak out. That night however, she had no interest in sneaking out and instead sat on her bed and cried. This was the first time Steve Harrington broke her heart.

            Around midnight she had cried as many tears as her body could muster and vowed to never let Steve hurt her again. At the same moment he was sneaking into Penny’s backyard. While Pepper cursed his name, he began rapping on her window. She immediately knew it was him. She went to the window and popped the glass open.

            “Go away.”

            “No, get out of the way, I’m coming in.” He started sliding into her room, feet first.

            She didn’t feel like getting kicked in the face, so she stepped out the way.

            Once safely inside he took a good look at her, it was obvious she had been crying. He felt sheepish and stupid.

            “I’m really sorry, Pepperoni.” He moved to hug her, but she took a step back, avoiding his embrace.

            “I don’t care. It’s not my fault I have to go home.”

            “I know, I just hate it when you leave. Forgive me?” His manipulative smile melted her heart and she relented as he pulled her in for a hug. But Pepper was also more than capable throwing up walls when she felt they were needed and she wasn’t going to break a vow to herself she made only minutes prior.

            “I forgive you-” he hugged her tighter at this revelation, “-but,” she pushed him off, “-I think it’s better if we’re just friends.”

            This was the first time Pepper Riley broke his heart.

            “Um, I-“ he stammered, trying to undo the last six hours.

            “You said it yourself, you hate it when I leave and I hate it, too. So I think it’s better that we just keep being friends, that way it’ll hurt less.” She knew she was twisting the knife, but it was too late to back down now.

            “Oh.” He sat down on her bed, heartbroken and angry with himself. “I-uh. I guess that’s true.”

            Staring at him sitting there she already regretted everything she just said, so it came time for him to leave. “I’m going to have to go to bed now, Steve.”

            “Yeah, of course.” He headed to the window, wanting to get as far away from what just happened as possible. Taking a moment before climbing through, he turned to face her. “I really am sorry.”

            Before she could respond he pulled himself onto the cold grass of the backyard and hurried back home.

            That was the first year that Pepper didn’t go over to Steve’s for their annual tradition. Every summer on the day before she and Brad –on summers he also visited- went home, they would go over to Steve’s for a pool party with he, Samantha, and on occasion other Hawkins kids.

            Steve felt her absence, but thought better of going next door and pushing his luck. Pepper waited to see if he would come ask her to join him.

            The summer ended without the two saying goodbye.

            On Halloween, she did receive a birthday card from him, prompting her to call. Since two months had passed since they last spoke, their relief to finally be speaking to one another eclipsed the hurt feelings and they slid back under one another’s spell.

            However, when summer came, Pepper kept steadfast in her goal to keep things platonic and the two went the summer without so much as holding hands, despite both of their young hearts wanting the exact opposite. Although, on their last night, after the pool lost their interest, the two retired in their pyjamas and sweaters to the hammock in Penny’s backyard. The pair stared at the stars and shared each other’s hopes and fears for the upcoming school year. After hours of laughing and talking, they fell asleep together, with the mosquitoes eating them alive, but they didn’t seem to mind.

 

 *

 

            Pepper blinked these memories from her mind, realizing she had been sitting at the curb for too long, staring at his house for too long.

            She climbed out of her car and crossed the lawn. Her grandmother’s house was dark. Pepper checked her watch. Penny was likely at bingo.

            Lifting the doormat, Pepper grabbed the spare key and let herself in. Standing in the foyer, she breathed in the familiar smells of her childhood. It was going to hurt like hell to suggest to her grandmother it was time to leave. How was she going to convince her of something she herself didn’t believe would do anyone any good?

            She shook off her mood, made her way to the kitchen, slid open the glass door, and stepped out into the backyard.

            The hammock still hung between two large oaks, but it had begun to fray. A light breeze lifted a few threads that had escaped the hammock’s intricate patterning.

            Walking to it, she stopped to peek through the trees. The Harrington’s pool was empty, dead leaves floated on its surface. Her heart lurched in her chest as she remembered the last time she was in that pool.

 

*

           

            It was August ’83, the night before Pepper was heading home to Lafayette for the upcoming school year, Brad in tow. As with every summer, the last night the group had together would end in Steve’s pool. Brad and Sam took off after a couple of hours to see a movie and get a bite to eat. Steve and Pepper remained, swimming well past sunset. Steve’s parents were out of town, so they wouldn’t notice the sizeable dent the four had made in their liquor cabinet over the evening.

            “You getting cold?” he asked her while she floated by.

            “No, I’m good.”

            “I’m going to grab another beer, want one?”

            “Sure.”

            She watched Steve disappear into the house; he had grown more and more handsome every year and she was aware that plenty of other girls in Hawkins felt the same. Sam had told Pepper about how popular he had become at school. King Steve they called him. He was the furthest thing from cool to her, though, but that’s why she liked him. It made her smile to imagine people fawning over him when she’d grown up with him watching him eat dirt and cry at Disney movies.

            Steve padded around the kitchen, grabbing two more beers from the fridge. He set them on the counter and took minute to be alone with his thoughts in the big, quiet house. He had it so bad for this girl. But she couldn’t stay and there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it, so maybe he needed to move on, especially since she had made it abundantly clear that they were just friends now. But then again, it wasn’t fucking clear, they were still completely enamoured with each other and he _knew_ it. She laughed at his jokes, she cheered him up when he was miserable, she stood up for him when Samantha or his dad made him feel like shit or worse, and she, unlike everyone else in his life, didn’t make him feel stupid. And what was he supposed to do if every time he looked at her, it hurt? Ignore it? Sure, he’d seen how girls had started to take notice of him recently, but he didn’t care.

            “Fuck it,” he whispered to himself as he opened his drink and chugged it.

            He grabbed a replacement for his own and returned to the pool.

            “Here you go, Pep.” He tossed her a can.

            “Thanks, Stevie.”

            He hopped back in the pool. “Jesus, don’t call me that.” He swam over to her.

            “Stevie poo,” she retorted, cracking open her drink.

            “I’m serious, I’ll drown you without a second thought.”

            “Widdle Stevie Hwarringtwon,” she laughed and began to swim away, but he grabbed her ankle and pulled her to face him, causing her to drop her beer. It bubbled and twisted in the chlorinated water before sinking to the bottom.

            “Time to die, Pepperoni.”

            She could feel his breath on her face as he started swimming her towards the ledge.

            “Knock it off.”

            “Scared?”

            She felt the cold cement press into her back. His hands were on either side of her, gripping the edge of the pool.

            Her eyes darted from his eyes to his mouth and back to his eyes again.

            He cocked his head playfully, no, expectantly and moved a little closer.

            “Steve-“

            “Push me away then,” he challenged.

            “What?” Her voice barely came out as a whisper.

            “I said, push me away then, if you really want to.” Their foreheads were touching, their lips only inches apart.

            She looked into his eyes, saying nothing.

            He took one last beat to take in her beautiful face before he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him overtake her.

            Every feeling they had kept secret for the last two years, hell, the last eleven years, spilled over into that kiss.

            A little tipsy and unsteady, Steve tried to pick Pepper up and sit her on the cement, but as she slipped from his grip, her knee connected with his face and for the second time, she watched as blood poured from his nose.

            “Oh my God!” She climbed out of the pool and offered him her hand. He grabbed onto her with the hand he wasn’t using to try and stifle the bleeding. She pulled him out and while he stood poolside, dripping blood onto the cement, she frantically searched for a towel.

            He watched her rush around to the deck chairs on the opposite side of the pool and started to laugh, charmed once again by how much more upset she was than him.

            She hurried back to him, handing him a towel.

            “Steve, I’m so sorry.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

            Without a second thought he leaned in and kissed her softly.

            “Sorry, I got blood on you.”

            She smiled, wiping her upper lip. “You’re really gross.”

            “I promise I’ll kiss you better at our wedding.”

            “Our wedding?”

            He cupped her face in his hand, she nuzzled against it. “Yeah, stupid, when we get married.”

            She leaned into him and he took the opportunity to push her into the pool.

            She popped back up above the surface. “What the hell, Harrington?”

            “That’s for fucking up my nose, TWICE, Pep.”

            She sulked in the cool water. “I guess that’s fair.”

            “I’ll meet you inside, I’m going to go get some ice on this.” He pressed the towel to his nose and went inside.

            Pepper met him in the kitchen. “Are you ok? It’s not broken is it?”

            “No, I’m fine.” He grinned from behind the makeshift ice pack on his nose, a tea towel filled with ice cubes. “But looks like that’s what I get for trying, hey?”

            “Yeah, because I kicked you on purpose.”

            “Who knows the lengths you’ll go to so we remain just friends.”

            It was a joke, but it cut deep and she suddenly felt very small.

            “I’m going to go get dressed.” She didn’t want to let him see that he’d hurt her feelings so she headed for the staircase, but not before she had to have the last word. “Pal.”

            “Aw, Pep, come on, it was a joke.”

            “Yeah, a real good one, too.” She ascended the stairs, leaving him sopping in melting ice and dribbles of blood.

            “Goddammit.” He tossed the ice pack into the sink and wiped his face clean.

            He stomped up the stairs and whipped the door to his bedroom open. “Riley, you gotta cut the shit.”

            Before he stormed in she had the chance to pull on her sweats and a t-shirt, so she threw her wet swimsuit at him. “Save it, Harrington.”

            He caught the swimsuit and tossed it on the floor. “No.”

            He strode across the room, “You’re not leaving and you’re not my friend.” He placed a hand in the small of her back and pulled her closer to him. “You’ve never been my friend.”

            “That’s really horrible, Steve.”

            “I don’t give a shit.” Before she had a chance to protest further, he kissed her. She returned his passion and thrust her hands into his hair, losing her fingers in his impressive locks.

            The two spent the rest of the night tangled in his sheets, taking things just far enough, and pretending she didn’t have to leave in the morning.

            Unfortunately, no matter how profoundly they wished the opposite, dawn came and early morning light spilled into Steve’s room.

            They laid on their backs, holding hands, and stared up at the ceiling, neither having slept a wink through the night.

            “So, did you mean it when you said you’re not my friend?”

            “No, you’re my best friend,” he sighed, “but you’re also like everything else and I guess that stuff is bigger.” He was struggling to articulate his feelings, so he opted to kiss her hand softly and close his eyes.

            Pepper rolled over and laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He curled an arm around her. Both felt safe here and wished it could last forever.

            “Steve?”

            “Yeah?”

            “What if the reason things are good is because we only get to see each other in small doses? What if you like me because we only get the best of each other?”

            He contemplated for a moment. “Pepper, you have on more than one occasion tried to run me over with your bike, once because I dumped a full coke on you and stole your shoes. That was last _week_.”

            She laughed.

            “Remember when I tickled you until you peed your pants in your grandma’s kitchen and I laughed so hard I puked all over her living room carpet and you pushed me in it.”

            “Yeah, but these aren’t like serious things. What if you - what if I _we_ \- don’t like each other if we’re around each other all the time?”

            “I see you all the time and I’ve known you forever. I would know if I didn’t like being around you by now.”

            “But-“

            “No buts, Pep, just let me like you.” He kissed the top of her head, her hair still smelled like chlorine.

            They laid in silence for a while, praying that time would stop.

            “I have to get going right away.” She made to get up, but Steve held her tight to his chest.

            “Just a few more minutes.”

            She breathed him in. “This was my favourite summer.”

            “Mine too.”

            “But it’s only for the summer, like always.” He could hear the pain in her voice.

            “I know.” A tear crept out of the corner of his eye and he was glad she couldn’t see his face from where she was laying. He also felt one drip onto his chest and knew she was crying, too.

            He sat up. “Maybe someday we’ll be in the same place and this can last.”

            She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and studied his face; he really was the most handsome boy she had ever seen. She knew she couldn’t keep him.

            Tracing his lips with her thumb she told him, “I know that girls really like you and shit now, Harrington, so like, it’s ok if we can’t do this because of the circumstances and you like see other people in the meantime.”

            He wrinkled his nose, confused that she would bring this up, and disgusted at the thought of her seeing anyone else. “I don’t want to, though.”

            “Yeah, but you will, you’re too pretty now.”

            He laughed uncomfortably, “I can’t imagine you with someone else.”

            “I don’t want to, but maybe it’s better that we don’t set ourselves up to resent each other while we’re apart. It’s not like we’re dating.”

            “It kind of is,” he replied, sheepishly.

            “You’re my summer romance, Steve.”

            He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Is that all?”

            “It has to be,” she sighed, cursing the distance between them, “for now.”

            No matter how much this hurt the both of them, she was right and they knew it.

            They didn’t talk much after that. He helped her pack up her things and walked her to the front door.

            “I’m going to miss you, Pepperoni, as always.”

            “I’m going to miss you, too.”

            They kissed goodbye and he watched her walk up his driveway and out of his life once again.

 

*

 

            While she was snooping the pool, she noticed movement at the glass door leading into his house. She debated scurrying back into the kitchen, but decided to hold her post and see who it was.

            As she feared, Steve stepped out onto the deck and much to her dismay he was better looking than when she saw him last. Time had been kind, his shoulders had only gotten broader and his hair more coiffed.

            “Fuuuuuck,” she muttered to herself, watching him grab the skimmer.

            He whipped his head around towards the trees, having heard something.

            “Oh goddammit.” She started to back up through the brush, creating more of a racket.

            “Pepper?” He dropped the skimmer and started trotting over to the tree line. “Holy shit, is that you?”

            Caught between running and staying, there was no option left for her dignity, so she waved. “Uh, yep, hey!” She ran a hand through her hair, hoping it would make her look more collected.

           He threw his arms around her and pulled her into a long, warm hug, picking her up in the embrace. “What are you doing here?”

            As her feet dangled off the ground, she was taken aback by his friendliness. They hadn’t spoken in nearly two years and things ended so poorly that she expected a much icier greeting.

            It occurred to her that maybe he was totally over her, which was even more horrifying to think about.

            He set her down and she backed out of the hug. He continued to smile like an idiot at her, rocking back and forth on his heels.

            “My mom sent me down to try and convince Penny to move to Lafayette.”

            He realized that if she accomplished her mission she would never have a reason to visit again. “Oh shit, that sucks.”

            “Yeah, I really don’t want to, but rock and a hard place, I suppose.”

            Steve was so excited to see her again, despite how badly she crushed him the last time they spoke. He chewed on his bottom lip and took her in for a moment. She did everything she could not to meet his eye.

            “So what were you doing in the trees?”

            Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.

            “I was looking for the rake-” her delivery was pathetic, “-and, well, ha, it wasn’t over here, so I guess I should keep looking.”

            She turned towards the yard.

            “Hey, wait, where are you going?” He followed her.

            “To look for that rake.”

            “Ok, well I’ll help you.”

            “I didn’t mean to interrupt your afternoon, don’t worry about it.”

            He stood in front of her, placing his arms on her shoulders so she couldn’t keep walking away. “Whoa, Pep, I haven’t seen you in like two years, don’t you wanna catch up?”

            She really didn’t. “I have an awful lot to do. Maybe we can get coffee before I leave or something?”

            His face twisted, she’d already hurt his feelings and she just got there. “Pepper, come on, don’t be stupid. Let’s hang out.”

            She was growing weary of his instance. “Steve, please.”

            He ignored her noncompliance and tugged on her hand, leading her back to his yard. “My parents are out of town and they asked me to come check on the place and what not.”

            His boundless charm melted her heart and she relented, allowing herself to be herded into the house.

            “So we can hang out here and catch up.”

            Everything looked almost exactly as she remembered, save for there being none of Steve’s mess around his parent’s otherwise immaculate home. There were no t-shirts thrown over chairs, shoes in the middle of the kitchen, or sports equipment leaned up against counters.

            “Do you want a beer?” He was poking around in the fridge.

            She welcomed the distraction. “Yeah, sure.”

            He re-emerged and tossed her a can. He leaned against the counter and popped open his own. “So, long time no see, hey?”


	2. That's It. I Promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where it get a little smutty. Enjoy!

Pepper’s eighteenth birthday was always meant to be low-key. She didn’t want a big party, she just wanted to have a few drinks and rent some videotapes with her cousin, Brad.

            However, she was really excited when after a recent phone call with Samantha, plans were made for her and Steve to make the trek to Lafayette to celebrate with them.

            Things had been a strained between Pepper and Steve over the last couple of years. For while he had tried to reach out to her after the last time she left, it hurt too much for her to speak with him, knowing he was so far away, so she shut him out. She dodged his calls, didn’t return his letters, and asked Samantha not to call her if Steve was over. She knew it was a terrible way of handling her shipwrecked heart, but she didn’t know what else to do.

            He was confused and worried that he’d done something wrong. Worse, he was worried that she’d gotten over him.

            This was the second time Pepper Riley broke his heart.

            Steve coped with Pepper’s rejection by partying and going through girls that were not her. He tried to do the same with Nancy Wheeler, but after a failed attempt to call Pepper on her sixteenth birthday, he decided he might as well try to give his heart to someone else. Despite his shoddily built cool persona, Steve had so much love to give and his tender heart couldn’t take the ass kicking Pepper’s dismissal had wrought. So he bandaged his battered pride and offered himself to Nancy. The news reached Pepper immediately via Sam and while she played it off, she was devastated.

            This was the second time Steve Harrington broke her heart.

            While Steve had loved Nancy, he ultimately had poured everything he wanted to tell Pepper into the beginning of their relationship and she had become a surrogate for his feelings for the girl who never stayed. However, after going through the extremely traumatic Demogorgon experience, it had bonded them in a really singular way that sustained their relationship for almost an entire year. When she left him, more or less, for Jonathan Byers, it stung and it hurt to have someone leave him again. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t make anyone stay.

            Eventually, Pepper started taking his calls again, but things had changed. He had to omit so many things she wouldn’t want to hear and he couldn’t tell her so many things that had happened. She didn’t want to hear about Nancy, she couldn’t be his comfort. Steve tiptoed around bringing her up because Pepper would be the only person that could have helped him heal, but how do you tell the person that broke your heart into a million pieces about the next one that did the same? He’d hoped by some stroke of magic she’d answer the phone, tell him she’d loved him all along, and in doing so undo his last two years of his romantic missteps. That never happened and their relationship was slipping from their fingers. Privately they still pined for one another.

            In the interim, Pepper had dated too, but nothing serious, and never for very long. No one was Steve and no one else would do. She knew she’d told him to see other people but she didn’t consider how crushing it really was going to be when he did. After Nancy left Steve she still couldn’t bring herself to visit just yet, feeling that he’d somehow been tarnished by a situation partly of her own doing.

            Regardless, having almost died twice over the last couple of years really put things in perspective for Steve and he wanted to have the chance to tell Pepper in person how he felt and that it was time for them to be together. It always had been and always was going to be her. So for her eighteenth birthday he packed a bag and jumped at the chance to see her again.

 

            Pepper’s parents had opted to spend the night at a motel to give Pepper some freedom as long as she promised that Steve would be spending the night at Brad’s. Pepper complied and swore up and down that no boys would spend the night, only Samantha.

            After a few drinks and a movie, Steve cornered Sam in the kitchen.

            “Sam, do me a favour and take off with Brad.”

            “Steven, you dog, you.”

            “I’m serious, I want to talk to her alone.”

            Samantha had always maintained that the two were soul mates, and she wanted to be alone with Brad anyhow, so she agreed. After one more drink, she whispered to Brad that she wanted to head back to his place and he told Pepper there was an emergency.

            “What emergency?”

            “I need to get laid.” He kissed the top of her head. “Love you, ‘Cuz. Happy birthday.” And with that he and Sam left for the evening.

            After they left, Steve popped in another movie, grabbed a gift from his bag next to the armchair, and flopped down next to Pepper, casually throwing an arm over the back of the couch.

            “Happy Birthday, Pepperoni.” He handed her the gift.

            “Thanks.” She clinked her beer can against his, “And thanks for coming up here.”

            “Of course.” He nodded to the gift in her lap. “Open it.”

            She grinned, setting her drink down on the coffee table, and then tearing into the gift.

            He studied her as she excitedly ripped into his present. She was so much more beautiful than he remembered. Her face was beaming and his heart broke watching her. He had missed so much time with her and it had been far too long since he’d made her smile.

            “Steve!” It was The Goonies Storybook. Even though they hadn’t spoken much recently, she mentioned in a recent phone call that after seeing it, it was her favourite movie and that she missed their own Goonie adventures.

            She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. “Thank you.”

            He nuzzled into her neck, wanting to be as close as possible. “I missed you.”

            “I missed you, too.” She could smell his hairspray, her secret weakness.

            “I really wish you could have come down this summer,” he lamented.

            Even though he and Nancy had been finished for almost a year, Pepper was still filled with her secret resentment. She hated to entertain the idea that she would have inevitably forgiven him, fallen completely back in love with him, and had to leave again. Her ego also refused to acknowledge that she had never fallen out of love with him in the first place.

            She pulled out of the embrace and shifted uncomfortably.

            He finished his drink. “You know, as much as I hated when you would leave, it turns out I hate when you don’t come at all so much more.”

            “I’m sure you had more than enough distractions.” It took all of her effort to make the words sound like a joke, masking her bitterness.

            He shifted in his seat so he was facing her, ready to speak his piece. “Nothing.” He brought a hand to her chin. “And I mean nothing, could distract me from how I feel about you.”

            Pepper tried her damndest not to laugh in his face, but it was too late and as she was guffawing at his confession he sat in stunned silence, mouth agape, in utter disbelief that she found the things he was telling her funny. She saw the damage all over his face and put a hand over her mouth to stop herself.

            “Ouch.” He hung his head and stared at his feet. “At least I know where I stand.”

            “Oh Jesus, I’m sorry.” She touched his knee and he looked up at her. “It’s just, you know, total bullshit.”

            Bullshit. He’d heard that before. This was worse.

            His face transformed from hurt to anger. “That’s so not fucking true.”

            “Really? Nothing could distract you? Who was it that started sleeping with Nancy Wheeler like a week after my birthday?”

            “You told me I should see other people!”

            “A week after my birthday?”

            “Pepper! You stopped taking my calls! I tried calling you on your birthday and I _heard_ you in the kitchen telling your mom you weren’t home.”

            She went to say something, but realized she didn’t have a defensible excuse for shutting him out other than admitting she was completely in love with him. So she got up and shut off the movie.

           He was standing by the couch, one hand on his hip, the other nervously running through his hair. “Pep, things just kinda happened. I missed you and I wanted it to be you, but you were miles away.”

            “It’s fine Steven, it’s in the past.” She busied herself, picking up cans. “But since it’s my birthday and all, I would really love if your real gift to me was that we could not talk about it.”

            “I’m really sorry.”

            “You’re always sorry.”

            His face twisted indignantly. “Why did you shut me out?”

            “I want to stop talking about it.”

            “You never started talking about it. You just decided I wasn’t worth your time anymore and pushed me out of your life! And now you’re mad because I didn’t make enough of an effort to check if you were done with me?”

            She had gone from beaming to pouting, standing next to the TV with her arms crossed. She looked like a child, one that didn’t want to be called on her shit.

            “Pepper?” He wanted her to say anything.

            It was her turn to stare at her feet and create the unbearable silence.

            He picked up his bag. “You’re an asshole, Riley.”

            She watched him move for the stairs. “Wait.”

            That was all he needed. He tossed his bag down and strode over to her, scooping her up in his arms, and kissing her deeply, nipping at her bottom lip. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips, his hands gripping her ass.

            She missed having her hands in his hair and she tugged on it, hard, causing him to groan. He clumsily steered her into her room and the two collapsed on the bed, growing more frenzied.

            Pepper tugged his shirt and he whipped it off. She dragged her hand down his chest, feeling his heart skip a beat. Then they moved to hers. He was so excited that he tore it as he helped her pull it off.

            “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” he puffed through ragged breaths.

            “Whatever.” She pulled him back down on top of her.

            He moved to her neck, starting with soft kisses along her jaw, but as she continued to rub against him, he began to bite her, gently at first. When she dug her fingernails into his back, he got carried away and bit her hard. She yelped.

            “Pep-“

            “Shut your fucking mouth, Steve.” She closed his lips with her own.

            His hands moved all over her body, gripping her warm flesh. She continued to pull at his gorgeous hair, tugging harder and harder.

            He unclasped her bra and tossed it aside, kneading her right breast while taking the other in his mouth, teasing her hard nipples with the tip of his tongue. She moaned and gyrated with every touch. He slowly drug his tongue down her stomach, feeling her flesh goose pimple and it made him rock hard. He nibbled at the skin on her hips as he tugged her pants off.

            He crawled back up her body to kiss her again, while simultaneously slipping his hand into her panties; he cupped her warmth and rubbed her clit with his thumb, while slowly teasing a finger in her opening.

            He whispered in her ear, “tell me you want me inside of you.”

            Her breath caught in her throat.

            “Say it,” he demanded.

            She eagerly complied. “I want you inside of me.”

            Steve finished undressing, staring down at Pepper the entire time, aching to finally have her.

            She kicked her panties off and he took himself in his hand. He slowly slid the tip of his cock on her clit and she thought she might go mad if he didn’t just fuck her already.

            “You want it?” He was playing coy, licking his lips as she writhed under him.

            “Yes,” she panted.

            “I don’t think I heard you.”

            Having waited this long for him, she couldn’t imagine the hell of waiting another second. She pushed him over and rolled on top of him, sliding him inside. He was big, but he felt so good, and she moaned the entire way down.

            “Oh my God.” Steve couldn’t believe how amazing she felt. He grabbed her hips and helped her ride him. His fingers dug in deep as she bounced up and down. He could feel her tightening around his cock.

            The two moved together, the hunger between them was raw and ravenous. They’d each imagined what it would be like to sleep together, but it was even better now that it was happening. They poured every unspoken word, feeling, and missed moment into each other.

            Steve tossed her off and mounted her, pumping deeper and quicker, as if this might be his only chance to be inside of her. “Cum for me.”

            “Holy shit.” He could tell she was close.

            “Say my name.” He thrust harder.

            “Steve, I’m gonna-“ She raked her nails down his back, leaving her mark.

            “Say it again.” He grabbed a handful of her hair. He was about to explode.

            “Steve, I’m- I’m-“ Her legs began to tremble and her stomach tightened.

            He pulled her hair forcefully, while he gasped for breath, “Pepper-“

            “Steve!” She arched into him and he felt her orgasm, pulsating on his cock, and he immediately followed suit, spilling himself inside her as she reached up and touched his face.

            Both stared at each other, panting and smiling. She was astonished at how sexy he looked with his hair matted to his forehead with sweat, she felt proud it was because of her. He studied her: she was glowing. She was amazing.

            “I love you.” He couldn’t believe he said it.

            They looked at each other in stunned silence as he hovered above her.

            He lay down beside her, feeling exposed and terrified. He wanted to tell her, but not quite like this. She wanted to tell him the same, but she was even more paralyzed than he was, especially since she didn’t trust him anymore. The best she could do was cuddle up beside him. He put an arm around her, pulling her to his chest. He gave her a kiss on the top of head.

            “Happy Birthday, Pepperoni.” They burst out laughing.

            “That was one hell of a gift.”

            “Oh yeah? You liked it?” He teased.

            “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to do that.” She drew little circles on his chest with her finger.

            “I assume it’s as long as I’ve wanted to do that to you.”

            “Let’s just stay here forever.”         

            “I’m game.” He pulled a blanket over them and spooned her. For the first time in a long time Steve was happy, with his nose pressed against the neck of the woman he loved. He peppered the back of her neck with soft kisses while she hummed, contented. He breathed her in, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

 

*         

 

            “Yeah, I guess it’s been awhile.” Pepper fiddled with the tab on her can.

            “Does Sam know you’re here? She’d be really excited to see you.”

            “Everything was really last minute. I was going to call her tonight,” she lied. She had hoped to sweep in and out of town without finding herself in the precise situation that had materialized.

            He shook his head. “Oh man, she’s gonna be so pissed at you."

            Steve moved to the phone in the kitchen and began dialling.

            “What are you doing?”

            “Calling Sam, idiot.”

            “Come on!”

            Pepper tried to wrangle the phone out of his hands, but he kept her at an arm’s length, which was easy considering how much shorter she was than him. It amused him to see her glaring at him and swiping at his arms. It was nice to have the chance to annoy her again.

            “Hello? Sammy?” He looked at Pepper and grinned his shittiest grin. “I got someone over here that really wants to see you.”

            “Steve!” Pepper squealed.

            A muffled shrieking could be heard from the other end of the phone.

            “Yeah, no, that was totally Pepper. Come over to my parent’s house.” Steve hung up the phone and smiled at her, enjoying himself.

            “You’re such a dick.”

            “What, you said you were gonna call her-” he exaggerated a gasp, “-unless that wasn’t true?”

            She frowned, he had a knack for calling her on her bullshit. “No, I was, it’s just that I need to go talk to my grandma, so I don’t really have time right now.”

            “Oh Pep, you’re such a terrible liar.” He smiled. “What, were you afraid you’d run into me or something?” He took a sip of his drink, feeling really proud of himself.

            She rolled her eyes.

            “Ok, Steve, I’m gonna get going now.” She was not going to play his little game. She was not going to be humiliated.

            “Alright.” He crossed his arms. “It was nice seeing you.” With that he gave a little nod towards the door.

            This was new. She had fully expected him to stop her.

            She tucked her tail between her legs and slunk out the door.

            He finished his drink, crushed the can, and tossed it in the sink.

            “Goddammit, Pepper.”

           

*

            Pepper shook Steve awake. “Steve.”

            He grumbled.

            “Steve!”

            “Mmmm, what?” He pulled her onto his chest.

            “You have to get dressed, my parents are going to be home soon and it can’t look like you slept over.”

            She wriggled herself free of his grip and hopped out of bed to pull her pyjamas on.

            “Why not? You’re a big girl? An adult even.” His hair was wild and he bit his lip as he watched her. “Come back to bed for a minute.”

            He wanted her again and she could tell. He patted the spot beside him. “I promise I won’t bite.”

            She tossed his shirt at him. “Put your clothes on.”

            He hopped up and grabbed her, pulling her back into bed as she screamed. She looked up at him as he hovered above her. His puppy dog eyes always melted her resolve, even though she was still holding her resentment over Nancy like a cross.

            She hated herself for loving him so much as she left a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled down at her, marveling at the thought of her possibly, finally, being his.

            “You’re beautiful.”

            “Steve, I lo-“ The phone rang in the other room. “I have to get that.”

            “No, please.” He kissed her neck.

            “Just hold on.”

            He watched her pad out of the room and he smiled to himself.

            Pepper returned, morose. “That was Sam, she’s going to be here in half hour, so you better get ready to go.”

            “Yeah, ok.” Leaving was going to hurt more than ever and neither wanted to talk about it.

 

            After the two got dressed, they headed out to the porch to wait for Samantha. The miserable silence was killing Steve and he tried to fix it.

            “Pep, maybe someday the timing will be right and we can be together.” He slung an arm around her shoulder and rubbed her upper arm, his voice cracking as he said it.

            She gave a small, pathetic laugh.

            “Save it, Harrington, I’m not sixteen anymore.” She was suddenly upset and placing her anger on him, not the circumstance between them. That, and try as she might to let it go, her heart was hell bent on hanging onto things that best be left in the past.

            “Whoa, this isn’t my fault.”

            “No, but you got what you wanted, so we don’t have to like pretend or whatever.”

            “What do you think I wanted?” He faced her, holding onto both of her arms.

            “I remember how this worked last time. You got your taste, so now you can go back home and date someone else that isn’t me.”

            “You’re being really unfair.”

            “No, you are. You come up here after two years and after sleeping with all these girls and then you-” she was getting worked up and frustrated tears were betraying her, “-you tell me you love me so you can finally finish what you started. Well congratulations, but I don’t need you to lie to my face and pretend like this is more than last night.”

            “Hey, it’s always been more than that. You’re the one who stopped talking to me, remember?”

            “You waited three weeks.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “Before you slept with Lori. Sam told me.”

            He couldn’t argue that, but he was going to try.

            “You wouldn’t talk to me and I was seventeen years old and an idiot. You were still the only person I wanted.”

            “Ha!”

            He needed her to know, so against his better judgement, he bared his heart to her.

            “Pepper, listen, I fucking love you and I meant it when I said it last night. I loved you when I was ten, I loved you when I was sixteen, and I love you now. I always have!”

            She broke free of his grip. “Then why did you love someone else?”

            He gaped at her, not understanding how she couldn’t see how much none of that mattered.

            “It was different, ok?! And you were always on my mind, but you shut me out and I thought I was going to die.” He searched her face for a break in her resolve. “You broke my goddamn heart!”

            But he had shattered hers so deeply that she was still licking the wounds, “We can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep starting things.”

            “Don’t. Don’t you dare do this again. Don’t you try to shut me out _again_.”

            The two looked into each other’s teary eyes, desperation all over Steve’s face. He pulled her in and kissed her hard. He kissed her like it could be the last time. He kissed her because he was certain it was. She couldn’t give in. She didn’t want to be his fool again, so she pushed him off.

            “Steve, this is done. It has to be.”

            Samantha’s car pulled up at the curb and she gave a little honk. She could tell that whatever was happening on the porch, she wasn’t invited to the party so she hung back. She’d call Pepper later.

            Pepper watched his heart break again.

            “You never loved me back. You’re just a mean girl that wanted something to distract herself with. Well good luck, Pepper, I’ll be the best you ever had.”

            That hurt, “Fuck off back to Hawkins.”

            He went to say something else, but he knew how much she always needed to have the last word. It wasn’t worth getting kicked harder, so he turned on his heel and left.

            She wept as she watched him walk to the car; his back turned the entire time. She should have just forgiven him. She should have just told him she loved him.

 

*

 

            Samantha Harrington pulled up in front of her cousin’s house, a bottle of wine already in hand, lips impossibly red, hair teased to the sky, and dressed to the nines. She shimmied in the front door, ready to party.

            “Pepper Riley, you dumb bitch, you better be ready to get wild tonight!”

            Steve wandered out of the kitchen.

            “Hey.”

            “Where’s Pepper?” She looked past him and frowned. “What did you do?”

            “Nothing, she had to get going.”

            Samantha wasn’t buying it. “Yeah, ok. Well I’m going to go get her back over here. Can you try and not ruin our fun for once? I don’t need your mopey bullshit tonight, Steve.”

            “So what? You want me to stay home?”

            “If that’s the only way I can guarantee myself a good time, then yeah.”

            She walked past him to the kitchen. “Is Penny’s number the same?”

            “How the hell would I know?”

            She dialled a number she had dialled a million times before.

 

            Penny still wasn’t back from bingo, so Pepper laid on the couch and tried to be less annoyed with her life when the phone rang.

            “Hello?”

            “Pepper, what are you doing back over there? You knew I was coming over.”

            “Hey, Sam, I’m sorry-“

            “Look, get dressed and come back over here.”

            “I am dressed.”

            “I mean, like get ready, we’re partying.”

            “Sam...”

            “You owe me, don’t be a brat. Look hot and come back over here. Steven has promised to behave himself.”

            Pepper did owe her; she had left Samantha to babysit heartbroken Steve on too many occasions to decline.

            “Fine, I’ll be back over in like half hour.”

           

            Samantha had always had the best hook-ups for house parties and had gotten the gang into trouble so many times for underage drinking when they were teenagers. Tonight was unlikely to be any different; they were just more experienced now.

            Samantha had taught Steve how to shotgun a beer, how to do a keg stand, and how to roll a joint. What Steve had in charm, Samantha had in cunning. She was wild, she was fun, and she was everybody’s favourite Harrington. She was a year younger than Steve, but at least ten years wiser. She was the first person to tease his hair and it was by her doing that he became anybody. If Steve was King, Samantha was God.

            Pepper loved Sam. She was the most fun when she was with Sam. Sam encouraged her to live a little and Pepper felt the most honest around her.

            Sam loved Pepper. Pepper grounded her without being a downer, and always held her hair when she puked. Pepper never judged Samantha for being a handful, and she loved her for who she was. Samantha could be vulnerable around Pepper.

            Sam and Brad never had the same ups and downs as Steve and Pepper, because Sam and Brad were never in love. They liked hooking up, they liked hanging out, but they were friends, it was easy. Watching Steve and Pepper’s complicated relationship didn’t annoy Samantha so much as it made her envious. She wanted to love someone the way they loved each other and continued to maintain that they would collectively get over themselves and eventually be together forever. She told Pepper this since they were thirteen. She hadn’t told Pepper this in awhile.

 

            Pepper dug through her suitcase, but had nothing akin to what Samantha would have in mind, save for her denim jacket.

            She dialled the Harrington’s and Steve answered.

            “Hello?”

            “Can I talk to Sam?”

            He didn’t respond and passed the phone off to his cousin.

            Sam took the phone, a cigarette balancing between her lips. “Pep?”

            “I don’t have anything to wear.”

            “I thought you might say that, I’ll be right over.”

            Samantha set the phone back on the cradle. “I’ll be back.”

            “Why are you coming back here? She doesn’t want to see me.”

            “Just get dressed and try not to be pathetic.”

 

            Samantha hurried through the brush, she knew how to motor in high heels, and there was no obstacle she couldn’t manoeuvre in them.

            She reached Penny’s backyard and slipped into the kitchen.

            Pepper was heavily made up and waiting for her with a glass of wine in hand. “Hey!”

            Samantha squealed and threw her arms around her. “Pep, I am so excited to see you! What are you doing here? And why the hell didn’t you call me?”

            “I was going to call! My mom wants me to convince Penny to move to Lafayette.”

            “The hell you’re doing that.” Samantha dug around in her purse and pulled out a dress. “I packed this in case.”

            It was a leopard print mini dress.

            “Put it on,” she insisted.

            Pepper grimaced, but knew that Sam was going to get her way eventually, so she took it from her, accepting the path of least resistance. She excused herself to the bathroom and re-emerged in her new garb.

            “I look like a mega-slut.”

            “Hey, that’s my dress,” Sam groaned while lighting another smoke.

            “I know what I said,” Pepper joked.

            “Come on, let’s get back over to the house, all my booze is there.” She watched Pepper put on her denim jacket, “Steve is gonna cream his pants when he sees you.”

            “Stop it.”

            “I’m just saying, maybe you two kids will bury the hatchet.” She took a drag of her cigarette. “When he, like, buries it in you.”

            “Gross, that’s your cousin, weirdo.”

            Pepper quickly scrawled a note to her grandmother as Samantha rushed her out the door.

 

            Steve had spent every second since Samantha left getting ready in his old room; he wanted to look so good that Pepper would regret ever sending him away. Tonight he was going to break her heart. Little did he suspect that she might do the same to him first.

            He heard the two girls clamour back into the kitchen, followed by Samantha cranking the stereo.

            He gave his hair the final once over and when he was sure he looked perfect he trotted down the stairs, ready to give Pepper a show. He strutted into the kitchen, completely unprepared to have the wind knocks out of his sails.

            There she was, dressed to kill. His heart flipped in his chest and he knew he was fucked.

            “Wow.” He looked her up and down. “You look amazing.”

            She blushed. “Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself.”

            Samantha shut the liquor cabinet loudly for emphasis and looked at Pepper. “Told you.”

            Steve rolled his eyes. “Grow up, Sam.”

            “Chill out, Steve.” She tossed him a bottle of tequila.

            “So where’s the party?” Pepper asked.

            Samantha grinned. “It’s right here.”

            “No! No goddamn way, Sam.” Steve was pissed.

            “Oops, I already put the word out an hour ago.”

            “Samantha!”

            Pepper laughed, she had no horse in this race; she just wanted to have a good time. It was warming her heart to see the Harrington Duo arguing again, she felt like she’d come home.

           

            Much to Steve’s dismay people were piling into his parent’s house at an alarming rate, many of them people he’d graduated with. He sat on the kitchen counter, chewing at his bottom lip nervously. Pepper noticed him not having any fun and took pity on him. She strode over to him and handed him a beer.

            “Hey, relax. I’ll help you clean everything in the morning.”

            “Oh yeah, you still going to be here in the morning?” He shot her a smarmy grin.

            She rolled her eyes and started to walk away. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close, hugging her where she stood while he remained on the counter. She still had his back and it meant a lot to him.

            “Thanks.”

            She backed out of the hug, putting a hand on his knee. “Just try and have some fun, you’re stuck with the party now anyway.”

            He huffed.

            She extended her hand. “Come on.”

            “What?”

            “Dance with me.”

            He was still so mad at her, but looking at her standing there he didn’t care anymore, she was here again. He could be mad later. He slipped his hand in hers and let her lead him to the living room.

            The room was a crush of people, wall-to-wall of twenty-somethings partying like it was high school all over again. Most of them had partied here in high school anyway. Although, Steve didn’t really associate with most of them anymore, they were here for Samantha. The night was drenched in nostalgia.

            Steve crowded up against Pepper on the makeshift dance floor of his parent’s living room. He intended to keep space for self-preservation, but there wasn’t any room for him not to be close to her. Alone by Heart flooded the speakers and he slid a hand around her waist.

            Pepper shivered under Steve’s touch. The warmth of his hand against her was melting her heart. She draped her arms around his neck and the rest of the room drifted away from their minds.

            “Are you going to be here for your birthday?”

            “Most likely.” She hadn’t noticed that she’d let her hand drift into the hair at the nape of his neck. She thoughtlessly twirled it around her fingers, comforted by it.

            “Do you want to do something for it?”

            She laughed, surprised that he was asking. “Really? Aren’t you super pissed at me?”

            “Oh, most definitely,” he agreed. “You still mad at me?”

            “One hundred percent.”

            “So I guess I should get you something a little different than last time?” He chuckled, knowing full well the joke was in poor taste.

            “I’m going to kick your ass, Steven.”

            “I suspected as much.” He pulled her a little tighter. “But stranger things have been known to happen.”

            Before she could respond, someone slung an arm around her, causing Steve to take a step back. It was Billy Hargrove.

            “Harrington, nice digs, amigo.”

            Steve rolled his eyes. “Christ, Billy, what are you doing here?”

            He lifted his beer. “Drinking, obviously.”

            Billy looked Pepper up and down. “And who might you be?”

            “Pepper.”

            He looked around the room, gave Steve the once over, and licked his lips. “Well Pepper, why don’t you come dance with a real man?”

            “That would be nice, have you seen one around here?”

            Billy grunted out a laugh. “You’re a funny girl, Princess.” He started steering her away. “Why don’t you tell me a few more jokes while I get you a drink.”

            They both looked back at Steve: Pepper like she wanted help, Billy like he dared him to try.

            The crowd closed around him as he tried to get to her and as he pushed people out of the way he came face-to-face with Nancy Wheeler.

            “Steve! Hey!”

            “Oh, hey Nancy.” He tried to look past her. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you in classes?”

            “I’m just down for the weekend.”

            He was barely listening, still looking over her shoulder. “Mhmm, that’s great.”

            “Yeah, so I thought I’d stop by.”

            He hoped to God that Pepper hadn’t seen her and wondered where the hell Billy had taken her. “Yeah, cool, listen, say hi to Jonathan for me.”

            He snuck past her and headed towards the kitchen. En route, Samantha stepped in front of him. “Hey, you got any grass?”

            “What? No, Sam. Get out of my way.”

            “Looking for Pepper?”

            “Yes, as a matter of fact. Did you see her?”

            “Maybe.” She was almost vibrating at the thought of drama. Sam loved chaos, she thrived on it.

            “Samantha, for Christ’s sake.” Steve was growing weary of her games. He shoved past her and continued his search.

           

            “So Pepper, what kind of name is that?” Billy leaned an arm against the wall, nearly pinning Pepper in place at the back of the kitchen. She grimaced as he blew smoke in her face.

            She glanced around, Steve was nowhere in sight. “Well, it’s my kind of name.” She took the cigarette from his lips and placed it between her teeth. “Billy, what kind of name is that? Are you ten?”

            “You’re kind of bitch,” he growled. “But it’s ok, I like it.”

            “I bet you do,” she said dismissively.

            She shuffled along the wall, trying to back out of the conversation.

            He put his other arm against the wall, blocking her in. “Hey now, where you off to?”

            “Look, Billy, you seem like a super fun, well adjusted guy, but I should be getting back to my friends.”

            He chuckled, “Harrington? Please. The dude is a complete nobody. And you, well, you look like you could do better.”

            Steve stumbled into the kitchen and saw Billy with his hands planted on either side of Pepper. Heat trickled up the back of his neck and he saw red.

            “Hargrove!”

            Billy spun around to see Steve seething on the other side of the kitchen. Pepper was relieved to see him.

            “Stevie boy, I was wondering where you got to.”

            Nancy entered the kitchen shortly behind Steve. She grabbed his shoulder and spun him, upset that he was so dismissive.

            “What the hell was that, Steve?”

            She couldn’t have come at a worse time. “Hey, Nance, I’m sorry, but not now.”

            Pepper’s heart kicked itself into her throat and Steve saw her face drop.

            “Why are you being such an asshole?” Nancy wouldn’t let up.

            “Nance-“

            Billy turned his attention back to Pepper. “Well, that resolved itself, where were we?”

            Pepper locked eyes with Steve across the kitchen as, without warning, Billy aggressively pressed his lips against hers. Steve watched her struggle against him.

            “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Steve turned back to Nancy who was still snipping at him. “Nancy, I’m sorry, but I really don’t care right now.”        

            Pepper tried to wriggle out of Billy’s embrace, but he pushed himself against her, keeping her locked to the wall.

            Steve closed the gap between him and the pair and shoved Billy.

            “What the hell, Harrington?”

            “The lady doesn’t seem to be enjoying herself, Billy.” He stood between the two of them, furious. Pepper held onto the back of Steve’s jacket.

            “That’s not the impression I was under.”

            “Get the fuck out of my house, Billy.”

            “Or what? I’ll have to kick your ass again?”

            Steve shoved him harder. “Leave!”

            Pepper pulled on Steve’s sleeve. “Steve, don’t.”

            Steve had never been good with jealousy or at fighting, but he was good at biting off more than he could chew.

            Billy was enjoying the show, he’d seen Steve puff his chest out and act tough so many times. He’d also pummelled him. He poked Steve in the chest with two fingers.

            “You gotta cool it before I rearrange that pretty face again.”

            Steve planted his feet. “I’d like to see you try.”

            Billy laughed and Pepper winced as Billy pulled his fist back and swung at Steve, who ducked. Billy’s fist travelled past Steve’s face and connected with Pepper’s chest, knocking the wind out of her.

            She stumbled backwards as Billy and Steve looked at her in horror.

            “What in the hell, Billy? You punched me in the tit!” She looked wild with rage.

            “Oh shit, I’m so sorry. This is Steve’s fault.” He took a step towards her.

            Steve was rushing at her. “Are you ok?”

            She pushed him out of the way. “Move it, Steve.”

            Pepper kicked off her shoes, squared her body, and punched Billy in the face.

            He spit blood onto the linoleum and licked his lips. “You’re a little spitfire.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, “But I really don’t like it when someone makes me bleed. Now why don’t you tell me you’re sorry so we can kiss and make up?”

            Steve pulled her from Billy’s grip. “That’s enough.”

            “Harrington, I almost forgot about you.” He cracked his neck. “Where were we?”

            A small crowd had gathered in the kitchen to spectate, some were cheering. Samantha hung near the back.

            “Kick his ass, Steve!” She shouted over the din.

            Steve swung at him, but Billy dodged the punch and slammed his fist into Steve’s stomach. Steve started to topple backwards, Pepper catching him, and crashing to the floor with him.

            Billy loomed over them. “Cute.” He grabbed Steve by his shirt and yanked him off the floor.

            “You want more?”

            “Fuck you.”

            “I came here to have a good time, so why do you always have to bring me down? Apologize for being an asshole and we can all go on with our evening.”

            Steve had had enough, he’d been pushed past anger with Billy’s treatment of Pepper and he was over Billy’s taunting. He punched Billy square in the jaw and Billy shook off the punch.

            “Aw, Harrington, I hate to do this.”

            Steve braced himself as Billy punched him in the face and threw him to the ground.

            Pepper pulled him onto her lap so his head wasn’t on the floor.

            “You have yourself a good rest of your night, Pretty Boy.” Billy pushed through the people gathered in the kitchen and disappeared into the hall. Samantha could be heard shouting at him as he went.

            Steve was embarrassed and upset. Pepper lightly petted his forehead while he lay on her lap, staring up at the ceiling fan.

            “Do you want to get up?”

            “I want to die.”

            She laughed, “come on, let’s go clean you up.” She shuffled out from under him and once again, offered him her hand. He accepted and she pulled him off the floor. He avoided looking at anyone who was still hanging around the kitchen.

            She grabbed two beers from the fridge and lead Steve upstairs to his old room.

 

            He sat down on the bed and she kneeled beside him, giving him the once over. He held the cold beer can to his forehead.

            “Are you ok?” She wiped the corner of his mouth with her thumb. “You’re bleeding a little.”

            “That seems to happen a lot when I’m with you.” He smiled. “I’m fine.”

            She studied his face, but he couldn’t meet her eyes. He’d tried to defend her but instead ended up getting his ass kicked, again.

            “How about you, are you alright?”

            “Well my boob hurts, but other than that, I’m just fine,” she laughed and swung her legs around to sit proper, feet dangling off the side of the bed.

            He saw one of her knees was scraped open, most likely from when they fell to the floor. He touched his cold beer to it. She jumped at the sensation.

            “I’m sorry.”

            “No, it felt nice.”

            “Do you want some pants?”

            “Yeah, actually, that would be really great. I feel super uncomfortable in this, if I’m being honest.”

            He set his beer down on the headboard and walked over to the dresser. “I have some old PJs in here. That ok?”

            “Sure, thanks.”

            “Here you go.” He handed her sweats and an old t-shirt.

            She took them from him and moved to the corner of the room. “Don’t look.”

            He made a show of covering his eyes and she hurried into her new wardrobe.

            “Ok, you can look now.”

            She looked even more beautiful tucked into his clothes. His heart ached seeing her standing in his room again for the first time in four long years. He strode across the room and hugged her tight.

            “I’ve missed you so much, Pepperoni.”

            She stood stunned while he hugged her, she hadn’t been called that since the last time she saw him. It felt so good to hear him say it again. She leaned into his embrace and held on tight to his jacket. He smelled so good, even better than she remembered. She pressed her face against his chest and she could feel his heart racing. He gripped her tighter and rubbed a hand on her back. Muffled music floated up the stairs and the two held each other and swayed along, saying nothing.

            She wondered at the situation, had it really been four years since she’d been in this room? It looked almost exactly the same, but it felt different, haunted by her memories. Being held by Steve had also changed; she could feel the broken distance between them.

            Eventually, he took her face in his hands, gently rubbing her cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry.”

            She stared up at him, his beautiful brown eyes looked so sincere. “I know. I’m sorry, too.”

            He pulled her back against his chest and playfully rested his chin on her head, “Did I just hear Pepper Riley admit fault and apologize?”

            “Do you want to get punched again?”

            “No, you look like you’ve got one hell of a right hook, Pep.” He broke their embrace and walked back over to the bed, taking his jacket off, and finally opening his beer. “Do you want to come drink this before it gets warm?” He lifted hers up off of the headboard.

            She came back over and sat beside him, taking the drink.

            “Thank you, by the way.”

            “Hmmm?”

            “For the whole Billy thing.” She popped open her can.

            “Yeah of course. I’m sorry he kissed you...” He trailed off, thinking about it was too infuriating. “Thanks for catching me.” He finished his drink and crushed the can, tossing it on his nightstand.

            She smiled. “You’ve always been terrible at fighting.”

            “I really have.”

            “It’s cute.”

            “Cute?” He chuckled, kicking his shoes off and laying back in bed, throwing his legs over Pepper’s lap. “You’re cute. You look cute wearing my clothes.”

            She distracted herself with her drink, avoiding the invitation to flirt.

            He closed his eyes, listening to the muted sounds of the party eking in from behind the bedroom door.

            He looked so tempting laying there; almost inviting her to crawl over him and make a mistake. She had to move.

            She scooted out from under his legs and lay beside him. He popped one eye open and peeked at her. Despite the pounding in his head, his bruised ego, and the sounds of his parent’s house being actively destroyed, he was absolutely happy.

            He slid his hand the short distance to hers and intertwined his fingers with hers. He was scared, but he had to ask. “Would you stay tonight? I just want to sleep next to you again. That’s it. I promise.”

            Silence stretched between them as he rubbed her thumb with his own and she went against her better judgement.

            “Yes.” She would do anything to fall asleep with him again.

            Pepper crawled under the covers as Steve tugged off his jeans and pulled some pyjama pants on. He crossed the room and locked the door, excluding the possibility that other partygoers might interrupt them.   

            Steve tucked in beside her. He wanted so badly to pull her onto his chest and keep her. She longed to breathe him in and fall asleep on him, the place she felt safest in the whole world. But both were too terrified to dissolve the distance between them. Each laid on their back and stared at the ceiling, praying the other would pull them close. They fell asleep aching for each other from inches apart.

 


	3. I Lied

Steve woke up first, with a pounding headache and foggy memories. He blinked sleep from his eyes and registered that someone was sleeping on his chest. No, it wasn’t just someone: it was Pepper. He must have pulled her to him after they’d fallen asleep or did she roll over and make the first move?

            Last night’s events crashed over him like a wave and he sighed. He didn’t know if he should be happy or miserable. Here she was, in his bed again. Here she was, constantly in the state of getting ready to leave again. If he wanted to do what was best for him, he would leave everything as is. He wouldn’t push. He wouldn’t try. He wouldn’t hope.

            Steve knew he was going to do the exact opposite. He petted her hair while she continued to sleep and tried to push the pain out of his mind.

            She stirred and opened her eyes, adjusting to the room around her. She inhaled, breathing Steve in, and grabbing a handful of his t-shirt. Suddenly she realized where she was. She began to panic internally. She should have gone home last night. This was a dangerous situation that could only end in classic heartbreak.

            “You awake?” Steve asked.

            “Mhmmm. Should we go see what Samantha has done to your parent’s house?”

            “Oh man, I guess so.”

            She sat up and looked at him, she loved his bed head. She couldn’t help but smile.

            He caught her smiling and returned the sentiment. “Let me make you breakfast.”

            “You’re a terrible cook.”

            “That’s ok, I’ll make toast.” He got up and pulled the blankets off of her. “Let’s go.”

 

            The pair wandered downstairs to assess the damage his cousin’s impromptu gathering had inflicted on the house. Beer cans, muddy footprints, and nearly finished wine bottles dripping onto the carpet greeted them as they descended the staircase.

            “I don’t know what I expected,” Steve muttered to himself as he and Pepper headed towards the kitchen.

            They could hear muffled voices coming from their destination. The pair tiptoed into the kitchen to see Samantha sitting on the counter and Billy Hargrove making eggs.

            “Top of the mornin’, Harrington.” Billy gave Steve a little salute with a spatula.

            “What are you still doing here?”

            “Making breakfast, obviously. You know Steve, you’re not very bright.” He looked past Steve at Pepper and smiled. “Morning, Spitfire. You get a lot of sleep last night?”

            Steve bore his eyes into his cousin. “Samantha?”

            She grinned and shrugged. “You want some coffee?”

            “Eggs?” Billy held up the pan.

            Steve took another beat to assess the situation and relented. “Yeah, sure, coffee.”

            Pepper hopped up on the counter next to Samantha. “Good morning.”

            Sam kissed her on the forehead. “Good morning, Sunshine.”

            Billy looked over at Steve. “Harrington, you do the toast, yeah?”

            Steve was too tired to argue. “Yeah.” He grabbed a loaf of bread and plunked two slices into the toaster.

            Samantha squirmed closer to Pepper, handing her a cup of coffee, and whispering, “so you slept over last night, I _knew_ you would.”

            “Nothing happened.”

            “Sure.”

            “No really, we just slept.”

            Samantha looked disappointed. “All this ‘will they won’t they’ is getting tired, Pepper.”

            “We won’t.”

            Samantha snorted as she took a sip of her coffee. “Yeah, ok, keep telling yourself that.”

            Pepper frowned at Sam and went to protest. “Sam, give it a rest. We’re just-” Pepper was cut off by Steve as he came over and took her coffee from her, taking a sip, and ruffling her hair before returning to his post at the toaster.  

            Sam raised an eyebrow. “As you were saying?”

            Billy interjected, plating his eggs. “So what do you lovebirds want to get up to today?”

            Steve scrunched his nose. “What do you mean?”

            “It’s the Friday before Halloween, Harrington. We gotta party.”

            “I’m not partying with you, Billy.”

            “Yes, you damn well are. Samantha made me promise to make nice with you, so let’s make nice, Pretty Boy.”      

            This was the closest thing Steve had ever gotten to an apology from Billy after all these years.

            Samantha chimed in. “Come on guys, let’s go have some fun tonight!”

            Pepper sighed, “I have to go talk to my grandma today.”

            “And I – no, _we_ \- have to clean up this house, Samantha,” Steve reminded.

            “Yeah, whatever, I’ll help you clean. Pepper, go talk to Grams and come back over. I’ll find us something fun to do!”

            The toast popped up and everyone accepted that they were stuck together tonight.

           

           

            Pepper went upstairs to gather her things while the others cleaned the kitchen. Steve trotted up the stairs shortly after her.

            He knocked on the door. “Hey, can I come in?”

            “Yeah.”

            She was making his bed.

            “You can wear my sweats home if you want.” He grabbed the other side of the comforter and helped her finish spreading it.

            “Thank you.”

            Neither of them could figure out where they stood with one another anymore. All Steve knew was that he wanted to jump across the bed and pull her under the covers with him for the rest of his life.

            Now with food in her system and a much more level head, Pepper was weary of giving in. As they fluffed the pillows in silence, she made the same vow to herself she had made when she was fourteen: to never let Steve hurt her again. As much as she wanted to wrap herself around him and lose herself in his charm, she wanted so much more not to have to pick up the pieces when she left for the umpteenth time.

            “So you’re going to come back tonight?” He looked at her with his puppy dog eyes.

            “We’ll see!”

            “What, you’re going to stay home and watch The Wheel with Penny instead?”

            “I just might,” she said, playfully.

            “Then I’ll come watch it with you, I haven’t seen Penny in a little while anyway.”

            “Are you going to rake her lawn and clean the gutters too? That way I can hear all about what a nice young man that Steve Harrington is all night.”

            “What can I say? Grandmas love me.”

            “Especially mine.” Pepper mimicked Penny, flailing her arms. “Oh, Peppy, I hope you marry that boy, he’s so handsome and he’d take such good care of you!”

            “I would.”

            The two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity and Steve knew if the bed wasn’t separating them he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from scooping her up and kissing her.

            Pepper broke first. “Well, I should get going. I’m already a day behind schedule on the ol’ ‘Make My Grandma Leave Her Life Behind’ scheme.”

            “Yeah.” He snapped out of his daze. “Yeah, of course. I’ll walk you out.”

            “No, that’s ok.” She hurried out of the room.

            He heard her trot down the stairs. He shook his head at himself; he was aware that he was pushing and lacked any subtlety.

 

            Pepper poked her head into the kitchen. Samantha was still sitting on the counter, but her legs were wrapped around Billy’s waist and the two were making out, hard.

            “Oh, gag!”

            Samantha pulled away. “Oh hey, Pep!”

            “I’m out of here, I’ll talk to you later.”

            Billy shooed her away and resumed his counter top tryst with Sam.

 

            Pepper hustled through the trees, across her grandmother’s backyard, and slid the glass door to the kitchen open. Once inside, she was immediately comforted by the sight of her grandma putzing around the kitchen, wiping down counters with such fervour that the finish was sure to come off.

            Penny heard Pepper enter and spun around, rag in hand. “Peppercorn!” She grabbed Pepper and hugged her in the way only a grandma can, warmly and much too tight. “I am so happy to see you!”

            “Hi, Grandma!” Pepper kissed her cheek. “Let me help you with that.” Pepper moved to take the rag from her hand.

            “No need, it’s already done.” Penny waddled back over to the counter and produced the note Pepper had left her the night before. “So, I see you were over at Steven’s last night?”

            “Uh, yeah. Samantha was having a party there.” Pepper shuffled her feet, wanting to avoid the inquisition surely to come.

            “Mhmmm.” Penny was no snuff. “And it was so much fun you couldn’t manage to make it the fifty feet home?”

            Pepper frowned. “Nothing happened. I just fell asleep over there.”

            Penny busied herself with the coffeepot. “I really do like that boy.”

            “I know, Grandma.”

            “He’s handsome.”

            “Yes, Grandma.”

            “Those his clothes?”

            Pepper opened the fridge, avoiding the question.

            “He stops by pretty often, you know.”

            This surprised Pepper. “Really?”

            “Oh yes, he helps me with my lawn now that the Sinclair boy has an afterschool job.”

            “That’s nice of him.” Pepper fiddled with a sticker on an apple she snatched from the crisper, contemplating that since he didn’t live next door anymore, he’d have to go out his way to help her.

            “Well, he’s a nice boy, Peppy.” Penny popped a filter into the coffeemaker and continued, “he asks about you all the time.”

            “I’m sure.”

            “Oh Pepper,” Penny clucked, disapprovingly. “He does. He asks how work is and if you’re happy-” she paused for dramatic effect, “-and if you’re seeing anyone.”

            Pepper scoffed, “as if that matters, we live half a state apart.”

            “That very well may be, but he still asks all the time.”

            “I’ll make sure to invite him to my wedding.”

            “Ha. Pepper, you’d have to stop being a defensive shrew before someone would marry you.”

            “I dunno, it worked for you, ” Pepper chortled.

            “Pepper Riley!” Penny whipped the dishrag at her, laughing.

            “I’m going to go get dressed.”

            “Yes, get your smartass out of my kitchen.”

           

            Pepper showered up in the downstairs bathroom. Once she finished, she wandered into her usual haunt: the basement guest room. She rummaged through her suitcase and pulled on fresh clothes.

            She looked to the little window beside the bed and recalled the countless nights she had snuck out, always to go to Steve. She contemplated nailing it shut forever to avoid the risk of temptation.

            She scampered up the stairs and made her way back to the kitchen. She rounded the corner to see Steve at the table enjoying a cup of coffee with her grandma. Her eyes grew wide as her grandmother smiled knowingly.

            “Hey, Pep!” He smiled. “You forgot your jacket.” He motioned to it, hung over the back of the chair beside him.

            “Thanks.”

            “Come sit, Peppy,” Penny insisted, “I’ll get you a coffee.”

            She bore her eyes into her grandmother, who chose to ignore it as she shuffled to the counter.

            Pepper sat down reluctantly. “Steve, don’t you have to finish cleaning your parent’s house?”

            “Yeah, I’m making Sam do it, since it’s her fault it’s a mess.”

            “Oh and you feel safe leaving Sam and Billy alone to have sex on every surface of your parent’s home?”

            “Pepper Riley, don’t be gross,” Penny scoffed.

            “Yeah, Pepper, don’t be gross,” Steve parroted Penny, enjoying himself.

            Pepper knew she was outnumbered, Penny _loved_ Steve and he was going to be there all day if she had her way.

            “Well, you two seem to have a lot going on, being best friends and all, so I’m going to a movie.” Pepper stood, grabbed her jacket, and started for the hall.

            Steve hopped up. “Sounds like fun, I’ll come too.”

            Penny caught up with them in the hallway. “Here.” She was digging through her purse. She handed Steve a twenty-dollar bill. “You kids have fun, on me.”

            “Thank you, Penelope. You’re a dream.”

            Penny twittered, completely charmed.

            Pepper rolled her eyes so hard she thought she might pass out. She ripped the money out of Steve’s grip and tried to hand it back to Penny. “Grandma, it’s fine.”

            “Pepper, goddammit, go and have some fun!” Penny shut her purse and began shoving Steve and Pepper towards the door.

            Once Penny had successfully shooed the pair onto the porch she slammed the door and locked it.

            Steve was beaming. “You got in trouble.”

            Pepper was overwhelmed, annoyed, and she _hated_ the way his hair was hanging over his eyes.

            “Steve, no offense, but can you take a hike?”

            “Well, I’m sorry, Pepper, but offense taken.”

            She started across the lawn to her car and Steve followed along behind her. She dug her car keys out of her pocket and jammed them into the lock. He leaned on the door so she couldn’t open it.

            “You’re going to try and drive away without me. You’re going to take your bad mood to a movie, and leave me standing here.”

            “That was the plan.”

            “Nice try.” He took the keys from the lock and jingled them in her face. “I’m driving.” He pushed off from the door and held it open. “Scoot over.”

            She glared at him as he nudged her into the car. She crawled over the driver’s seat to the passenger side and clipped her seatbelt. Secretly she was enjoying Steve’s relentlessness to win her over.

            He slid into the driver’s seat. “You want lunch first?”

            “No, I’m good.”

            “Lunch it is.”

            “Steve.”

            “I think you’re mad because you’re hungry.”

            “I think I’m mad because you won’t leave me alone.”

            “I think you would be madder if I did.” He flashed her a smile that was equal parts honey and vinegar.

            He was right, which made her even angrier.

            “You know Steve, we should stop beating around the bush. Nothing is going to happen between us.”

            This did knock him down a peg. He had been dreading the fact that she might firmly throw up the walls. It was her signature move.

            “Yeah, I know.” He didn’t. “But we’re still friends.” They weren’t. “We can just hang out like we used to.” They couldn’t.

            He glanced over at her. “Deal?”

            “Deal.” She was being stubborn, but in the back of her mind, the voice she tried to smother wished so very much that this deal would be broken.

            His heart was in shambles as he turned the engine over and pulled away from Penny’s house.

 

            Steve pulled up in front of Lucy’s Diner, determined to bring Pepper’s walls down, if only to salvage the friendship they once shared. He hopped out, jogged to the passenger side, and opened the door for her.

            “Thanks!” She followed him into the diner and they slid into their favourite booth.

            After a moment, Iris arrived table side. “It’s so good to see you two together! Makes me nostalgic.”

            Steve smiled wide. “Yeah, it’s been awhile.”

            Pepper studied him from across the table. He looked so effortlessly cool with his arms stretched over the back of the booth seat.

            “The usual?”

            Steve looked to Pepper, she could decide if they would play along.

            She would. “Yeah, sure!”

            “Will do.” Iris left to ring up their order.

            It occurred to Pepper that the two of them hadn’t really had a chance to catch up at all.

            “So, what have you been up to?” she asked.

            “Not a lot.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve been working for my dad, but I’ve been talking to Hopper about maybe becoming a deputy.”

            This didn’t surprise Pepper. Even though Steve was a bit of a mess, he was a good person with a good heart and a profound sense of justice. He would be a great cop, better than most, because he was a fair person. Although, he was also impulsive, clumsy, and emotional; this instinctively made her worried and protective. Regardless, she’d seen Steve robbed of ambition by his peers and his parents his entire life and yet here he was, finding a reason to be a hometown hero. She was proud of him and unlike everyone else in his life, she told him.

            “That’s really great. I’m so proud of you.”

            He never heard that from anyone and her words found the perfect place in his heart. He didn’t even realize until that moment just how intensely he’d been missing her and it overwhelmed him. If she’d been around the last two years she would have encouraged him through everything. Maybe he would have gone to college, maybe he would have dreamt bigger. None that mattered though, what mattered was that someone was validating him. Someone was sitting across the table interested in whether or not he did something with his life, something that he wanted. He could tell by the look on her face that she was sincerely proud of him and that in turn, made him proud of himself.

            Despite the face Steve put out into the world, he was insecure. He hadn’t been much of anybody since high school and even then, by senior year, Billy had dethroned Steve for most popular. Steve felt obscure and forgotten. His relationship worsened, if anything, with his father when he started working for him. Samantha was a mess, Dustin was in high school with teenage problems, and Hopper, while encouraging, was also a walking disaster, still learning how to be a dad again, and this time to a girl with superhuman abilities. He’d dated causally, but his heart wasn’t in it and girls treated him the way he’d believed himself to be: handsome, dumb, and disposable. Steve was underappreciated, misunderstood, and completely lonely. Despite this, he didn’t want Pepper because she validated him, he wanted her because she was the best person he’d ever met, and she just so happened to sincerely give a shit about him in all the ways no one else seemed to.

            “Thank you, I haven’t told anyone else about it, really.” He was flustered and ran a hand through his hair, trying to play it cool.

            “You’d be really good at it.”

            “You think so?” Her opinion mattered so much to him.

            “Yeah, plus you’d get to wear tight pants all the time and I know how much you love that.”

            “Ladies love this ass.”

            She laughed.

            “What about you? What have you been up to?”

            Pepper sighed, she’d be dreading talking about the mess her life had become.

            “Your best buddy, Penny, hasn’t filled you in?” She joked, trying to dodge having to get into it.

            Steve knew things hadn’t been great for Pepper and he certainly didn’t want to pick at any wounds. He wasn’t going to push, if she wanted to open up to him, she would. She usually did, eventually. He hoped that the last couple years wouldn’t have undone her trust completely and that she could lean on him if she needed.

            Pepper hated being vulnerable almost as much as she loved being stubborn. She was kind, she was loyal, but she was even more emotional than Steve. She was less inclined to show it however, because she was fiercely private and afraid. She hadn’t always been this closed off, but Steve broke her heart and she didn’t get over anything.

            Pepper remembered the name of everyone who ever made her feel small and she cried whenever she begged her brain to let it go. She wanted to get over anything. She wanted to forget everything. She hated feeling things so intensely and she hated that she loved Steve so much; he represented a hurt she wasn’t ready to deal with. She was certain she could never tell him she loved him either, because then she could lose him forever.

            He looked at her with genuine concern and her heart lurched.

            As much as she had missed running her hands through his hair and feeling his lips against hers, she missed her best friend more. He’d had a knack for cheering her up; he knew how to listen, he knew what to say, and he held her when she cried. She missed that so much.

            “I’m sure you’ve heard through the grapevine that my parents got divorced last year.”

            He reached across the table and took her hands in his. “Yeah, I’m really sorry, Pep.”            

            “No, it’s ok,” she lied, “but I had to drop out of college to work while my parents paid lawyers and stuff. Plus my mom wanted me around for emotional support.”

            Now that she started talking about it, she could feel the lump rising in her throat and she felt herself more angry than sad.

            “And I hate my job.” She was on a roll and there was no stopping now. “I hate Lafayette. I hate that I drive a shitty car. And I hate that my mom bribed me with a down payment on a new one to come back to the one place I don’t hate to try and convince Penny to pack up the only place I feel any love for and move to the place I hate the most.”

            It felt good to say it, but now that it was all out on the table she was embarrassed. “Sorry.”

            He got up and slid next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder, and rubbing her arm. “It’s ok.”

            She knew she was going to cry and if she was going to cry, she sure as shit didn’t want to do it in the middle of a restaurant.

            “Steve, I need to use the washroom.”

            He knew that wasn’t true. “Do you want me to come sit in the car with you?”

            “Yes.”

            He extended his hand and she took it. He let Iris know they’d be back in a few minutes and led Pepper out to the car.

            Steve still had Pepper’s keys, so he unlocked the back door on the driver’s side and she squeezed in first.

            Once in the back seat, he motioned for her to bring it in and she collapsed against his chest, immediately sobbing into his shirt. He rubbed her back as she cried. She was embarrassed and she was angry with herself. She gripped his jacket as she howled against him. She hadn’t had anyone comfort her in ages. Her parents were so caught up with their divorce that it hadn’t occurred to either of them to ask Pepper how she was dealing with it. She had no siblings and Brad was still away at college, something she knew she shouldn’t resent him for, but did anyway.

            As she cried about the shambles of her failed college career, her parent’s ill-fated marriage, and her terrible job, she thought she might as well cry on Steve about Steve for good measure. She was still bitter that he’d broken her heart, she was angry that he hadn’t waited for her four years ago, she was frustrated with herself for not forgiving him two years ago, and she was devastated that she was sobbing on him in the back of the car she despised so much in the middle of a Hawkins’ diner parking lot. This was rock bottom and she wanted to die, but she couldn’t decide if it was from embarrassment or misery. Maybe it could be both.

            He held her tighter as he felt her playing herself out. He kissed the top of her head, hoping that it didn’t cross the line. He knew she would be disgusted with herself for being this vulnerable in front of someone and he also knew that if it was going to be someone, that it was going to be him. He had a responsibility to make sure she felt safe breaking down, a responsibility he was happy to shoulder. He wanted her to feel safe with him again. But above everything else, he wanted her to feel better.

            Pepper’s crying ceased and she laid her face against the saturated fabric on Steve’s chest. She wasn’t ready to look him in the eye. She thought about how amazing it was that she could feel both exponentially better and worse at the same time.

            “You ok?”

            “No. Let me die,” she mumbled into his shirt.

            “You embarrassed?”

            “Yes.”

            “Remember last night when I got my ass kicked in my own kitchen?”

            “Yes.”

            “Now that was embarrassing.”

            “It wasn’t that embarrassing.”

            “Pepper...”

            “Steve, I snotted and drooled and cried all over your shirt, I’m pretty mortified right now.”

            “I didn’t like this shirt that much.”

            “I feel like a mess.”

            “Well, you are a little bit of a mess, Pep.” He continued to rub her back as she lay against him. “But so am I, so you’re not alone.”

            She was comforted by this. “Thanks.”

            “Do you want me to go in and get our food to go?”

            “Yes, please.”

            “Ok, I’ll be right back.”

            She knew that her face would be all red and that her mascara must have ran down her cheeks, but he still looked at her like she was the sun. He ruffled her hair before exiting the car and jogging back into the diner.

            She laid down in her backseat and studied a rip on the roof. She contemplated that she and Steve had never been in her backseat before. She’d imagined what it would be like hundreds of times, but none of those scenarios remotely came close to the ordeal she just experienced. She laughed to herself, because it seemed fitting that this is how it would turn out.

            While he was still inside she took a moment to indulge herself in fantasy. Perhaps Steve would come back to the car and crawl on top of her, needing to have her. He would kiss her neck and in between kisses he would tell her he still loved her after all this time-

            Her daydream was interrupted by the sound of the car door opening. She snapped out of it, worried he could somehow read her indulgence all over her face. She sat up and moved over as he climbed back in the car with a big paper bag in hand, balancing two milkshakes in the other.                    

            “Here, take one of these.”

            She obliged and also took the bag as he shut the door.

            “Do you want to eat here or should we drive somewhere?”                                          

            “Drive us someplace.”

 

            Steve pulled up at the playground he and Pepper used to frequent as kids. It was a chilly day, but he thought a brisk picnic might cheer them both up. No one was on the equipment; kids would still be in class for another couple of hours.

            They made their way to the swings and dug into their burgers and fries.

            “This is so good.” She scarfed her food, underestimating how hungry she was.

            He chuckled, watching her demolish her burger.

            “What?”

            “Nothing.” He shoved a fry in his mouth.

            “You’re making me self conscious.”

            “Pep, it’s nothing. You look cute when you eat.”

            She narrowed her eyes and turned her back to him to finish her burger. He laughed harder.

            “Quuuuuit,” she protested with food in her mouth.

            He stared at her back as she finished her lunch. His heart had taken up residency in his throat and he was too lovesick to be able to eat. Try as he might, he couldn’t convince himself he was hungry.

            She turned back around once she finished and noticed he wasn’t eating. She pointed to the fries in his lap. “You ok?”

            “I guess I wasn’t hungry.” He set his food back in the bag sitting at his feet and stood.

            He moved behind Pepper and started pushing her on the swing. “Remember when we used to see which one of us could jump the farthest from the swings?”

            “I sure do, that’s how I sprained my ankle that one summer. You carried me home from the park on your shoulder.”

            “Did I? Wow, I’m such a great guy.”

            “Yeah, it was because you tried to push me over the top bar and I jumped because I was scared.”

            “That sounds about right.”

            He pushed her higher and she jumped off the swing, landing feet first into the sand below.

            “Beat that, Harrington,” she challenged.

            She didn’t wait around to see if he would take up the task because it started to rain, making the crisp air even colder. She started hustling back towards the car and he followed.

            It wasn’t far, but by the time they arrived back at the car, the skies had opened up and it was pouring. They were drenched as Steve dug in his pocket for the car keys.

            She called to him from the other side of the car. “Hurry up!”

            “I am!” He found the keys, slid inside, and popped the lock on the passenger side. She hurried inside.

            They looked at each other and laughed, the pathetic fallacy of the rain wasn’t lost on them.

 

            They parked in front of Penny’s. The rain had only gotten worse as they drove. This October storm was raging.

            “You better come in,” Pepper told him.

            He stared out the windshield into the sky. While he only needed to get next door, his parent’s property was far enough away that he would be struggling to make it to the house.

            “I guess you’re right.”

            “On three.”

            The pair counted down and whipped their doors open, running for the front entrance.

            Pepper tried the door and it was locked.

            “Hurry up!” Steve goaded her.

            “I am!” She grabbed the key from under the doormat and let them in.

            They stood in the foyer dripping and Pepper called out for Penny, “Grandma? Are you home?”

            Pepper kicked off her shoes and wandered into the kitchen. There was a note left on the counter from Penny, she was once again heading to Bingo after lunch with a friend. She laughed to herself and put the note back on the countertop.

            Steve came up behind her, almost a little too close, and she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. “Do you have anything I can wear?”

            She shivered and moved for the stairs. “Follow me, I have your PJs.”

            They trotted downstairs to her room and she handed over his clothes. Before she had a chance to turn around he whipped off his shirt and began undoing his pants. She tried not to leer, but he looked amazing soaking wet. His chest was glistening and she wanted to run her hands all over his body. She bit into her bottom lip and he caught her looking. He smiled and winked at her. She realized he had spied her and she tried to save herself.

            “Uh, let me give you some privacy.” She turned around.

            He kicked off his jeans. “Nothing you haven’t seen before.” He pulled on his sweatpants and came up behind her, even closer than before. “Your turn.” He purred in her ear as he pulled his shirt on.

            “Yeah, so get out of here.”

            “Feeling shy?”

            She was annoyed, they’d spent all afternoon rebuilding their friendship and now he wouldn’t let up. “No, I just don’t think you could handle it.”

            He loved it when she tormented him; it only got him hotter. “Try me.”

            Pepper spun around to say something, not realizing he was so close. She turned directly into him and had to take a step back. The look he was giving her was provoking her to tear his eyeballs out. She pulled her shirt off and whipped it at his head, moving to her suitcase to look for something dry. “Happy?”

            He stared after her. “I couldn’t be happier.”

            “You’re a dog, Steve.” She pulled on a dry t-shirt and kicked off her wet jeans.          

            “Yeah, like you weren’t trying to fuck me with your eyes a second ago.”

            “Again, I don’t think you could handle anything more.” She shimmed into a pair of sweats.

            “Again. Try me.” He closed the space between them and stared down at her.

            It was so tempting, all she had to do was move half an inch closer and she could have him again. The air between them was palpable as Steve cocked his head expectantly, much as he had in the pool all those years earlier. He moved for her mouth, but she put a hand up and his lips met her fingertips. They were soft and warm and she immediately regretted stopping their collision course with her own.

            “Not happening, Harrington.”

            “Can’t blame me for trying.” He shrugged.

            She strode towards the door. “Actually, Steven, I can.”

            Steven. Shit. She was pissed.

            “Pep, aw, come on. I’m sorry.” He chased behind her.

            She was sitting on the couch in the rumpus room, she’d turned the TV on, and she was giving him the silent treatment.

            He stood in front of the TV. “You’re not going to talk to me now?”

            She said nothing.

            “Are you turning twelve tomorrow?”

            She narrowed her eyes at him.

            “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have crossed the line. It was stupid and I-“ He had no idea how to make it better, he wanted her, and he couldn’t pretend he didn’t, “-I don’t know why I can’t just be your friend.”

            This made Pepper feel two things. The first was ecstatic because he had just admitted to still having feelings for her. The second was despair because she needed her best friend and she couldn’t in good conscience return the sentiment and lose him again. She needed the boy that sat with her in the car two hours ago, not the boy who climbed into her bed two years ago. It was also in that moment that it occurred to her that nearly every time Steve had kissed her it had been preceded by a confrontation. She deflated, they were no longer great at being friends and they were certainly not great at being lovers. The heart of the matter was that they needed to commit to one or the other instead of trying to keep one foot firmly planted in both.

            Ultimately, they shouldn’t be friends.

            He continued, “and I know you don’t feel the same way anymore.” He said it hoping she would interject with the contrary.

            Pepper watched him agonize in front of her. She knew what he wanted her to say, but she couldn’t let herself admit it. She wanted to go to him and hold him, but she sat frozen, watching him self-destruct.

            “Pepper, I gotta go.” He wanted to be braver than this. He wanted to be big enough to love her unrequitedly and still have her in his life, but he’d loved her too long and too deeply to put himself through it any longer.  

            She got up and came over to him, grabbing his wrist. “Steve, wait, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”

            He tugged free of her grip. “I can’t do this anymore. I won’t.”

            “So you’re saying that you’re not my friend?” Her words were small and desperate.

            “I’ve been saying that since I was seventeen years old.”

            “You said you didn’t mean it.”

            “I lied.” There was a bite in his voice.

            “Oh.” Tears started to well up in her eyes.

            He danced between sympathy and self-preservation and for the first time, he was going to save himself. “Have a safe trip home.”

            He was unnecessarily hurtful and he knew it. He was being petulant and selfish and he already regretted it because she had started to cry softly.

            Tears streamed down her face as she watched him decide whether or not he should continue towards the stairs. She made his choice for him. “Leave.”

            He realized that he’d forced her hand and he also realized that if he left he might never see her again. He’d fucked up and he wanted to undo it. He’d always been terrible at self-preservation, anyway.

            “Pep-“

            “Go!”

            “Stop-“

            “I said go!”

            He could only try so much. “Fine! I guess you’ll have to find someone else to string along through your bullshit. But do yourself a favour and save your tears because they’re not going to work forever, Sweetheart.”

            She was the angriest she’d ever been and she screamed at him. “It must be hard to find out that you’re not irresistible to everyone! Maybe every girl you meet doesn’t want to fuck you!”

            “Oh yeah? Well you certainly seemed to enjoy it! Or did you fake that, too?”

            “I’m not the one that faked an entire friendship!”

            “No, you’re the one that couldn’t be bothered! You’re the one that stopped talking to me _twice_! You think you have some kind of high ground here? You’re mad at me because I slept with someone else after you told me to move on. You’re mad at me because I’ve been honest with you for years about my feelings while you push me away every time. You’re mad at me because I can’t possibly jump through the imaginary hoops that you’ve set up for me to prove to you that what? That I’m worthy? What else do I have to do?”

            He gaped at her while she continued to seethe. She had no defense.

            He had more to say. “You aren’t my friend, because a friend wouldn’t treat someone this way. You treat my heart like your goddamn playground and you don’t even want it.”

            He took one last look at her; she was so small, so hurt, and so bitter. This isn’t what he wanted but there was nothing left to say.

            “Goodbye, Pepper.” He’d finally gotten the last word.

            He turned around and hurried up the stairs.

            She heard the front door slam and she collapsed to the floor with grief. He’d finally broken her heart completely and the worst part was that she was as responsible for the pain as he was. He hadn’t said anything she didn’t deserve and she hated herself for it. She hugged her knees to her chest as she sobbed.

            She’d finally driven him away.

 

            Steve crashed into his parent’s house, drenched and heartbroken. He slammed the front door and slid down to the floor. He hung his head between his knees and began to cry. He’d been sent away by every person he’d ever loved and of all of them Pepper hurt the most.

            “Fuck.” He threw his head back against the door. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He slammed his fist against his leg.

            It dawned on him that Samantha and Billy might still be there, so he hurried up off the floor and headed for the kitchen. The house looked clean and he discovered a note on the counter. They had gone back to Sam’s and they’d be back around seven.

            He crumpled the note and tossed it in the trash. “No thanks.”

            He dragged himself up to his old room and crawled onto the bed. He shut his eyes and listened to the storm.

            While he lay there, the weather shifted for the worse and thunder cracked nearby. The electricity in the air felt strange and Steve knew firsthand what strange felt like in Hawkins. He hadn’t sat with this level of unease in a few years and the hair on his arms stood up.

            He trotted back down to the kitchen and dialled Joyce Byers’ number.

            “Hello?” Joyce picked up the phone. It sounded like she had a house full of people. He looked at the kitchen clock: it was half past four so it would be likely that she was hosting at least six teenagers right now.

            “Hey, Joyce, it’s Steve.”

            “Oh hi, Steve! You looking for Hop?”

            “Yeah, that would be great.”

            He heard her put her hand over the receiver and shout for Jim to come get the phone.       

            After a moment Hopper answered. “Hello?”

            “Hey Hop, listen, I just had some thunder over here and it felt _weird_. Like really weird. I was wondering if maybe you guys heard it or if Jane said anything?”

            “She and Max are doing a campaign with the boys right now, so there’s nothing inherently weird going on over here. Just dorky.” Steve wasn’t an alarmist by any stretch and Hopper knew it. “ But I’ll keep an ear out and if anything strange is going on I’ll give you call.”

            “Thanks.”

            Hopper had grown really fond of Steve and he could tell something was wrong. “You alright?”

            “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little shook up I guess. It’s probably nothing.”

            “You at your apartment?”

            “No. No, I’m actually housesitting for my parents.”

            Hopper considered this and the proximity his parent’s house was to the old lab and it bothered him. “Hey, listen, I’ll drive past the lab later if anything is going on, ok?”

            “Thanks.”

            “Take care of yourself, kid. I’ll talk to you later.”

            Steve hung up the phone as another thunder crash sounded from nearby. He tried to shake the feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it didn’t feel like a regular storm. He grew increasingly uneasy and thought about Pepper being alone next door. She had no idea what had really happened in Hawkins a few years ago. She had no idea the level of danger that had stalked this town.

 


	4. To Us

 

            Pepper had dragged herself into bed and listened to the rain pound against her window. She hoped her grandmother wouldn’t stay for the late games at bingo so she wouldn’t have to be alone if the power went out. It was already starting to get dark and Pepper hated the dark, it was so lonely.

            She also wanted to finally get the ball rolling with her intentions so she could get the hell out of town and as far away from Steve as possible, hopefully for good. It was time to be done with this.

            Her cheeks were raw as she felt tears welling up in her eyes once again. She begged herself to stop wanting him. She needed him out of her system forever. She ignored the voice that told her she could stop hurting herself if she just let herself love him and fucking _told_ him how she felt. No, that would be too reasonable. Then she’d have to admit that she was her own worst enemy. There was no way she was equipped to deal with that level of self-reflection right now.

            Somewhere in the depths of the house a clock ticked and it made her nervous. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the heaviness in her heart and the confusion in her mind.

            The phone rang out through the silence, startling her. She jolted out of bed, rushed up the stairs, and picked up the receiver, hating herself for hoping it was Steve.

            “Hello?”

            “Hey, Pep!” It was Samantha.

            “Oh, hey, Sam.”

            “Listen, the weather is so shitty that I don’t know if we’re going to make it back over there until this rain dies down.”

            “That’s fine, I won’t be coming along anyway.”

            “What? Why?”

            “Because Steve and I aren’t on speaking terms.”

            After a beat of silence Samantha finally muttered, “Jesus Christ.”

            “He-“

            “I don’t care. I honestly don’t care because whatever it is is stupid. Either you want each other or you don’t, but you need to figure it out, so deal with your shit. I’ll see you later because we are going to party and you two are going to have to get along whether you like it or not.”

            Samantha hung up on her.

            Pepper shrugged, Samantha wasn’t wrong, but she was tired of having to hear uncomfortable truths about herself she wasn’t ready to face.

            She limped back downstairs and crawled back under the covers, maybe when she woke up this nightmare would be over.

 

            Steve had paced around his room for almost two hours, deciding whether or not to check in on Pepper. The storm seemed to be waning, but the pain in his heart was only getting stronger.

            He groaned as he moved to the door, opening it, only to shut it again and flop back down on his bed.

            “She’s fine. She doesn’t need you,” he reminded himself.

            _She doesn’t need you._ It hurt to say out loud.

            He wrestled with his pride and his stupidity. Well, it was less stupidity than it was complete vulnerability; he knew how to break his own heart better than anyone else. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and wondered how many times he could offer himself to someone before he’d let their rejection stick. Then he reminded himself that he chose to leave when she’d asked him to stay. Stay as her friend.

            Fuck that, he wasn’t going to take responsibility this time; she had turned him down _again._ He’d tried. As always, Steve had tried. Tried and fallen short.

            Christ, he knew goddamn well he was going to try again. There was no way that she didn’t feel the same way, she was just being goddamn Pepper. She was just being a stubborn asshole. She loved him, she had to, she had to or he’d just fucking die.

            He groaned at the thought of heading back over there because it would not be very becoming. Steve didn’t consider himself pathetic, but right now he knew how he looked. He’d drag himself over there, sopping wet, and what? Ask her to reconsider, just _one_ more time? He tried to reason that she was scared of both the dark and of thunderstorms, so he would be doing her favour. But he sure as hell wouldn’t be doing himself any.

            He walked back over to the door and this time he made it to the hall before retreating back under the covers.

            He looked at his watch, it was six o’ clock. It was dark and the wind was picking up, crashing branches against the house.

            While he continued to contemplate ruining things between himself and Pepper further by poking the wound, lightning lit up the sky and the power in the house ceased.

           

            Pepper stirred from her depression nap to the sound of thunder and a flash of lightning. Her lamp had flickered off and she realized her grandmother wasn’t going to be back until at least 9 o’ clock when her games were over, a timeline that was engrained in her as a child. So she was alone in the dark, listening to the storm.

            “Perfect.”

            She wished that Steve hadn’t opened his goddamn mouth so she had someone with her right now. She’d always been afraid of thunderstorms.

*****

It was mid-July the summer of ’81, about five weeks shy of Pepper and Steve’s kiss at The Hawk. Steve’s parents were out of town for the weekend and he was left under Penny’s care, which meant he and Pepper would be sneaking out of the basement to hang out at his place alone. Penny knew this as she watched them through the kitchen window, climbing out onto the grass and rushing across the back lawn, thinking they were ninjas. She could go get them, but she knew where they were going. She remembered fondly what it felt like to be young and in love and wanted so much for her granddaughter to enjoy it while she could.

            It was hot outside, but the air carried the promise of an evening storm. Pepper eyed the dark clouds as Steve led her through the trees into his backyard.

            “I rented a bunch of scary movies last night,” he explained, “I thought we could finally watch The Exorcist.”

            “Steve, no. You know I’m scared of demons.”

            “Demons aren’t real, Pepper.” He slid the glass door open and pulled her inside, “Don’t be a baby.”

            “I’m not a baby! I wasn’t the one hiding my eyes through Halloween.”

            He glared at her. “We’re watching The Exorcist.” He slung an arm over her shoulder, “I’ll keep you safe.”

            “My hero,” she teased as she shrugged him off and flopped down on the couch.

            “I’ll be right back.” She heard him hustle upstairs and he reappeared in the living room with an armful of blankets.

            “Wanna make a fort with me?” He smiled wide. “It’ll be demon proof.”

 

            They had used up all of Steve’s blankets and had to rip the sheets off of his parent’s bed to make the living room into the fortress they so desired. Pepper sat on the floor in an ocean of pillows and listened to Steve making popcorn in the kitchen.

            “Are you sure you don’t need any help?” she called to him.

            “I’m sure! I’m almost done anyway. Can you pop the movie in?”

            She got up and pushed the tape in the VCR. By the time she went to sit back down Steve had crawled under the blanketed walls with a bowl of popcorn in hand.

            He rearranged the pillows so he and Pepper would be cuddled together and he plopped the bowl in her lap. They sat with their backs up against the couch and he not so subtly stretched an arm out behind her.

            It had started to rain and Pepper was already nervous.

            “Scared?” He teased.

            “No.”

            Within half an hour she had her face buried against his chest in fear, his arm around her. He smiled to himself, his harebrained technique had worked like a charm and he held her tight, “I thought you weren’t scared.”

            “I lied.”

            The storm had begun to pick up outside, making Pepper all the more anxious.

            “Hey, don’t worry. I told you I’d keep you safe.”

            She looked up at him and he smiled down at her. He was going to do it. He was going to kiss her. He gathered up every ounce of courage and tilted his head when suddenly thunder clapped and the power in the house blinked off. Pepper screamed and buried her face back against him. Keeping a protective arm curled around her, he rubbed her shoulder.

            She did feel safe. Steve would keep the demons away.

            He nuzzled his face into her hair and they weathered the storm, holding each other in silence.

 

*

 

            Pepper sat in her bed, back against the wall, and pulled the blankets up to her nose. She was too scared to try and find candles.

            She heard something scraping at her window and was convinced it was the end. The scraping turned into pounding and she started screaming.

            Over the noise she heard a voice. “Let me in, I’m going to drown out here.”

            It was Steve.

            Now she was furious. “Good!”

            “Pepper, goddammit, I’m serious, let me in.”

            She begrudgingly popped the glass out of the window and he climbed into her room. She replaced the glass and tried to see him in the dark.

            “Why are you back here? You scared the shit out of me!”

            “I was worried about you with the power out.”

            “My hero,” her words dripped with disdain.

            She couldn’t see, but he was glowering at her.

            “You got any candles?”

            “Probably in the kitchen.”

            He reached for her in the dark and grabbed her hand. “Come on then.”

            She pulled her hand away. “I’ll wait here, if Michael Meyers is in the house it’s better if you check it out.”

            “Fine, I’ll be right back.”

            She listened to him struggle in the dark and eventually heard his footsteps overhead and kitchen drawers open and close. After a few minutes he reappeared with a candle glowing on a plate.

            “I found one!” He was proud of himself as he set it down on the dresser.

            Even though he’d utterly destroyed her little heart, she was charmed by his amusement in having lit a candle.

            He peered at her, glowing in the candlelight, and she looked beautiful, even through her sadness. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to take back everything he’d said and offer her his ridiculous traitor of a heart all over again. He thought about this for a minute and realized that nothing was stopping him from doing so.

            “Pep, I’m really sorry.”

            “Save it.”

            “Don’t give me that, I know you’re upset.”

            “No shit.”

            He threw his arms up. “You’re impossible. You know that?”

            “Window’s right there, Harrington. Nothing’s keeping you here.”

            That wasn’t true.

            “You are.” He couldn’t help himself as he crossed the room and pulled her face to his, kissing her hard. To his absolute surprise, she responded in kind and gripped onto the back of his soaking shirt. He eased into her and deepened the kiss, running his tongue along the inside of her bottom lip and moving his hands over her body.

            She fought every instinct to push him away. Yes, he was trying to solve an argument with their bodies, again. Yes, she knew that ultimately this was going to end terribly, but what if? What if she just let herself have this? What if she let herself have him? She couldn’t fight the excitement coursing through her veins and the warmth rising between her legs.

            Pepper could feel his erection pressed against her through his sweats and she didn’t want to turn back. His hands continued to explore her and he slowly moved a hand down the front of her pants and into her underwear. As his fingers made quick work, he felt her knees buckle and he smiled against her lips. She returned the smile.

            “I can’t stand you,” she whispered.

            “Good, because I can’t stand you either.”

            Their kisses quickly grew obsessive and Pepper tugged at Steve’s shirt. He tossed it off and pulled hers over her head. He pulled her back into him and she nipped at his neck.

            He threw her over his shoulder and carried her over to the bed. Her back hit the mattress and he climbed on top of her, leaving a trail of frenzied kisses on her body. He eased her bottoms off and softly dragged his tongue along the inside of her thigh, eking closer to her sweet spot. Her legs were shaking and she was terrified that she was making a huge mistake.

            While she deliberated, Steve began to tease her clit with the tip of his nose and suddenly she wanted to make this mistake forever. His tongue felt so delicious against her and she whimpered as she dug her fingers into his scalp.

            Feeling her respond to every flick and drag of his tongue was ecstasy. He loved the taste of her and he was going mad with desire, he’d wanted to bury himself between her legs from the moment he saw her standing in the trees yesterday.

            She _needed_ him inside. She tugged harder on his hair, as if to ask him to oblige.

            “Hmmmm?” He purred against her. “You want it?”

            “Yes,” she gasped.

            For the last two years Steve had wondered if he’d ever get to see Pepper again. He’d wondered if he’d get to kiss her again. And he’d wondered if he’d ever get to sleep with her again. Now here they were and he intended to fuck her until she was a babbling mess.

            He slowly made his way back up her body, kicking his pants off, and planting soft kisses on his way back to her neck. He nibbled at her collarbone as he slid inside, earning groans from both of them. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him deeper.

            His thrusts were hungry and indulgent. She gripped at his back and he responded by quickening his pace, just slightly.

            She pulled a pillow over her face and screamed into it. He was so pleased with himself, but he didn’t want her to cum yet so he ceased as her legs desperately tried to beckon him back into her. She nudged her hips towards him, but he continued to let her squirm, refusing to give in.

            She removed the pillow from her face. “What are you doing?”

            “Oh, I’m sorry, did you want this?” He eased himself inside, painfully slow.

            She writhed under him, tightening her legs around his hips. She held him close, pulling him tight, and rolling them so she was on top.

            He stared up at her, panting, and excited that she took charge. She was voracious as she rode him and he was equally as insatiable as his hands traveled up her stomach to her chest and he cupped her breasts.

            “Pepper, I’m gonna cum.”

            “No, you’re not,” she demanded.

            He growled and flipped her back over, pumping fast and deep. He watched her face as she bounced underneath him and he saw her eyes roll back, he knew she was near the edge.

            “Just friends?” he chuckled.

            “Shut up, Steve. Don’t,” she gasped. “Ruin.” She grabbed his arms. “This.” She came as a scream escaped her lips and he flooded inside of her.

            Their ragged breathing was punctuated by the storm, still blustering into the night. It was no match for the energy created between the two.

            Steve took in her beautiful, glistening face, and kissed her softly. “I love you so fucking much.”

            “I love you, too.” She didn’t have time to stop herself as the words slipped past her lips.

            She was trembling after having betrayed herself to him, but above all else she needed him to have her heart. If it was going to be broken again, there was only one person on earth she would concede herself to.

            Steve’s heart flipped in his chest and for a brief second in time he was certain it had stopped. “What?”

            “I’m completely, stupidly, tragically in love with you, Steve Harrington.”

            He’d been waiting nearly his entire life for her to say it and by this point he was sure it was never going to come. He was overwhelmed, overjoyed, and completely terrified.

            He felt his breath quicken and tears well up in his eyes. He closed the space between them and kissed her again. It was different this time; she was his, however briefly, for this moment.

            She threw her arms around his neck and let herself, for the first time, become completely swept away.

           

            Steve and Pepper lay in her bed. She was once again curled up against his chest, his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head as they listened to the wind howl through the trees and the rain pound against the house. They had fire in their chests and their hearts between their teeth.

            Pepper knew it couldn’t last, but for now, she could be blissfully happy.

            Steve wasn’t even going to entertain the possibility that they weren’t going to be together. “Please stay.”

            “Let’s just enjoy this.”

            “I’m not going to let you go, Pepperoni.” He held her tighter.

            She sat up and looked down at him, in what was left of the firelight. She touched his face. “You know I can’t stay.”

            “Why not?” He kissed her hand.

            “Because my life is there.”

            “You _hate_ your life there.”

            “It’s not that simple.”

            He sat up. “It is, though. Life is too short to make things harder than they have to be and you’re the only good thing that’s happened to me. I need you to stay. For once, please, please stay.” He had taken her hand in both of his and rubbed the top of it with his thumbs.

            He was the only good thing that had happened to her, too. She’d spent her whole life returning to him and he was all she wanted. She knew she couldn’t promise anything, but she could lie for now and they could pretend a little longer. “I’ll stay.”

            His heart was full. He believed her implicitly.

            There was a knock on the front door.

            “Ignore it.” Steve pulled her back to him.

            “It might be my grandma.” She hopped up. “Will you come with me? I’m scared,” she asked as she pulled on her clothes.

            He was happy to play hero, even in this miniscule capacity. “Absolutely.”

            They ambled through the dark basement and felt their way along the kitchen and the hallway to the front door.

            “You answer it,” Pepper whispered.

            Steve opened the door to find Samantha soaking wet, holding a flashlight. She did a double take, plastered a shit-eating grin on her face, and stepped inside.

            “Steven, whatever are you doing here? Last I heard you were giving Pepper a _hard_ time.” She waved her flashlight on them, taking note of the hickey on Steve’s neck. “But I suppose that remained true.”

            “Sam, what are you doing? It’s crazy outside,” Pepper interjected.

            “I told you we were partying. I heard the power was out on this side of town so I thought I’d come pick you up and you could get ready with me!”

            She shined her light and headed towards the kitchen. “I mean, if you two are done fucking and all.”

            Steve laughed. He wasn’t going to be coy.

            “Samantha, I don’t want to go out in this.”

            “Yes you do, both of you do. Go grab some clothes.”

           

            By eight-thirty Pepper and Steve found themselves riding in the backseat of Billy’s car, wishing so much they were curled up in bed instead. Billy’s music was the only thing possibly more loud and obnoxious than Billy himself and Sam was already hammered.

            Steve and Pepper shared a look as the car pulled up in front of Tommy H’s house.

            “Tommy’s! Oh good, this’ll be fun,” Steve said sarcastically.

            Pepper remembered Tommy from when they were kids; he was an asshole then, too.

            The party looked like it was raging harder than the storm, but at least this side of town had power.

            Steve shrugged his jacket off and draped it over Pepper so she wouldn’t get wet, took her hand, and ran to the house with her. She was absolutely twitterpated.

            They stepped inside, Billy and Samantha stumbling after them. The house was packed, it seemed like everyone was celebrating Halloween a day early. Steve and Pepper were among the minority without costumes.

            Steve was still a little on edge because of the storm and was secretly relieved to be farther away from the old lab. As far as he knew, nothing was there, but it still made him uneasy every time he visited his parent’s house. Here at Tommy’s he took solace in having he and Pepper safe.

            Sam and Billy immediately lost themselves in the crush of people.

            “Find me later!” She called to Pepper over the crowd.

            “For someone so determined to hang out, she ditched pretty quick.”

            “Classic Sam,” Steve agreed. “Can I get you a drink?”

            “Sure!”

            He slipped his fingers between hers and led her into the belly of the beast.

            In the kitchen they located the punch and he poured them each a cup.

            “Cheers.” Pepper tapped her plastic cup against his.

            “To what?”

            “To you.”

            “To us.”

            Pepper blushed as they sipped to their uncertain future together. As far as Steve was concerned, she was stuck with him forever and that’s exactly what he wanted. He finished his entire drink in one sip, hoping it would somehow magically cement their fate.

            “Harrington!”

            Steve shuddered. He didn’t have to turn around to know it was Tommy.

            “Tommy.”

            “Long time no see. And I see you’ve come as a washed up sad sack.”

            “You got me.”

            Pepper glared. “At least he didn’t come as a freckled sociopath.”

            Tommy scoffed and then recognized her. “Holy shit, Riley, is that you?”

            “Obviously.”

            “What are you doing back here?” He motioned to Steve. “Besides lowering your standards.”          

            “Get fucked, Tommy,” she spat.

            “You wanna help me?”

            Steve cracked his knuckles and slid his arm around Pepper’s waist, pulling her closer to him.

            Tommy laughed, “Oh shit, are you actually with Harrington? That’s sad. I’m sad for you.”

            Billy came up behind Tommy and slung an arm around him. “Now, now, Thomas, be nice to Steve and the Little Spitfire. She packs a killer punch.”

            It was hard to tell who was angrier, Pepper or Steve. Steve was tired of being treated like a joke by people who had no place throwing stones. Pepper wanted to murder everyone who treated him cruelly.

            “Oh yeah?” Tommy turned to Steve. “Does she fight all your battles for you, too?”

            “Tommy, I said be nice.” Billy dropped his cigarette into Tommy’s drink.

            “What the fuck, Billy?”

            Samantha joined the fray. “Hey Tommy, nice party. You tell everyone you weren’t gonna be home?”

            Tommy was outnumbered and confused, especially by Billy. He decided to take his loss and walk away, confounded.

            Steve poured another drink and also disappeared into the crowd, leaving Pepper bewildered as they all watched him go.

            “Steve?” Pepper called after him.

            Samantha grabbed her arm. “Let him cool down, he’ll be back.”

            “Maybe just once you could treat him a like he isn’t a joke.” Pepper was upset with both of them. Billy shouldn’t even be with them and he was only tolerating Steve so he could hook up with Sam. Sam was just someone else to totally steamroll Steve’s feelings with no regard to get whatever she wanted, as always. The only person Pepper wasn’t upset with was Steve, but she was worried. He still had a knack for retreating.

            Sam gaped at her, trying to find an excuse. Billy rolled his eyes and lit another smoke.

            Pepper pushed into the crowd to go find him.

 

            Steve had taken enough flack for the last three years and he was tired of feeling like a failure. Like a nobody.

            Last week, his dad had stripped away what little pride he had held onto when he fired him for “being a disappointment.” He couldn’t bring himself to tell Pepper that this afternoon. He hadn’t told anyone, not even Hopper.

            His mom had begged him to house sit while his dad took her on vacation with all the funds he would be saving not having to pay his son anymore. He couldn’t believe she was going. He was abashed that his mom would betray him like that. Regardless, he agreed to watch their house in the hopes his dad would return with a change of heart.

            Steve had become an expert at isolating. He didn’t want to be vulnerable anymore. At seventeen he’d shed his cool guy persona nearly as quickly as he’d adopted it. Instead, he was the boy that wore his heart on his sleeve and it served him poorly. He couldn’t help it; he cared too much, even when he pretended not to. Everyone could see through him and it made him an easy target. But you can’t hit what you can’t find. He’d being playing dead for years.

            Previously, Steve had fought and clawed for people to love him like he’d loved them. He’d fought for approval, he’d fought for Nancy, he’d fought for his friends, and he’d fought for Pepper. They’d all had something they loved more than him. It was easier for him to stop trying.

            That was until yesterday when Pepper came back into his life. He’d found a reason to fight again, but now he’d been humiliated in front of her twice and she must realize how little he had to offer. Why would she want what he’d become? He wasn’t the boy she fell in love with and when she figured that out she’d pack her bag and leave him again. Just like everyone else.

            He made his way downstairs, leaned up against a wall, and watched people pass him by. He drowned his sorrows in his drink and avoided looking approachable.

           

            Pepper was growing increasingly upset. She had done two laps of the living room, checked upstairs, revisited the kitchen, refilled her drink out of frustration, and now found herself pushing her way through bodies on her way downstairs.

            From her vantage point she could see Steve leaning against the wall, fiddling with his cup. He looked like a little boy.

            She shoved her way through the crowd and came up to him. As she stood in front of him he still hadn’t registered that someone was there while he intently stared into his drink.

            She put her hand on his arm and he jolted, finally snapping out of his thoughts.

            “Steve? Are you ok?”

            He shrugged her hand off of his arm. “I’m fine, Pepper.” His words were cold.

            She remembered this feeling, suddenly she was fourteen again and he was pushing her away, but this time she had no idea why. She teetered between hurt and sympathy. She had never responded kindly to rejection, but maybe this once she should try again.

            She reached out once more, touching his face. “Can I help?”

            Her hand felt so sweet and inviting against his cheek. He nuzzled against it. He knew he didn’t have the resolve to shut her out, so he might as well not fight it.

            “No, it’s fine, Pep.” He pulled her against him and rested his chin on top of her head, watching the party pass him by.

            She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight, he’d tell her what was wrong eventually. He always did.

            Suddenly he couldn’t give a shit less about his dad, about Tommy or Billy, or about being open and tender hearted.

            He kissed her and as she went to pull back he deepened the kiss. He wasn’t a nobody. He had everything he needed and he wanted everyone know she was with him. She chose him.

            He held her face in his hands and smiled. “You love me.”

            She pecked his nose. “Yes, Steve, I love you.”

            “Come on.” He threw her over his shoulder, making a show out of having her all to himself.

            He carried her up through the kitchen onto the little covered porch in the backyard. The rain was still coming down hard and the thunder rattled on. No one else wanted to be outside. He set Pepper down on a lawn chair and took the seat next to her. They watched the storm from the safety of the awning and he held her hand.

            “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” She asked.

            “It’s nothing important.”

            “Steve.” The way she said his name cut him to the quick. She cared.

            He nervously jiggled his leg, what if she _did_ think he was a failure? But she looked at him like he held the stars in the sky and he decided it was better to tell her. “My dad fired me last week.”

            “What?” She’d always hated Steve’s father: he was a pompous, self-important asshole that treated his only child like a burden instead of person.

            “Yeah, he said I was a-“ Steve was embarrassed and shifted in his seat, “-well, a disappointment.”

            Pepper’s heart buckled. She couldn’t believe anyone would treat their own son so cruelly. And Steve, he was so good. He deserved so much better.

            She squeezed his hand tighter, wanting to somehow absorb his hurt. “Your dad is a prick, Steve. If you impressed that guy you’d be a terrible person. I’m proud of you for disappointing him, it means you’re doing something right.”

            Steve stared at her. She’d found a way to make it sting less. “Thank you.”

            “You know you’re better than how they treat you, right?”

            He didn’t know how she did it, but she was nursing wounds he didn’t intend to reveal.

            He heard her sniffle. “Pep?”

            “I’m really sorry.”

            “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He scooched her chair so she was facing him, their knees touching. He rubbed her legs while she stared at her hands.

            “I shouldn’t have shut you out. I wish I didn’t push you away.”

            “I wish I would have handled my shit better, too.”

            “I should have told you I loved you sooner.”

            He kissed the palm of her hand. “It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that you’re going to stay this time. What matters is that you love me now.”

            “I’ve loved since I was ten years old.”

            “I know.”

            “You did not!”

            “Well, I’d hoped you did, but I didn’t think you’d ever admit it. I thought I’d die waiting for you to tell me. Or worse, you’d tell someone else before I got the chance to hear it.”

            “There was never going to be anyone else.”

            He felt like a total fool, he wished that he’d waited for her all those years ago. “It was always going to be you, Pepper.”

            She crawled onto his lap, straddling him, and pressed her lips against his. “It is always going to be you, Steve.”

            He gripped her tight, kissing her passionately.

            “Take me inside,” she whispered.

            He complied, whisking her back into the house.

            They laughed as they hurried through the crowd and he pushed her into an upstairs bathroom, cutting ahead of a few people waiting in line.

            They said nothing as he locked the door. He picked her up and set her on the bathroom counter, slipping her underwear off from under her dress and tossing them aside.

            He stood in front of her as she unzipped his jeans and pulled him into her. They moved together, eager and greedily. Pepper clutched onto his jacket as she whimpered into his ear.

            It was as though they were making up for lost time, every thrust was filled with yearning. Steve couldn’t have enough of her. He kissed her aggressively while they relished in one another.

            The sex was clumsy and thrilling. In their haste, their moving limbs accidentally knocked hairspray cans and shaving cream off the counter, sending them clattering to the floor.

            There was nothing inconspicuous or private about their tryst. They weren’t trying to be quiet, if the whole party knew, so be it. As a matter of fact, Steve was aiming to make her scream; he did want everyone to know.

            He grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head, pressing them up against the bathroom mirror.

            He leaned his forehead against hers and made his demands. “Why don’t you tell everyone who’s making you cum tonight?”

            She looked at him, both wild eyed and embarrassed.

            “Do it,” he growled. “Tell them.”

            “Steve!”

            “ _King_ Steve,” he corrected, thrusting himself into her harder.

            “ _King Steve_!” She moaned it loudly, agreeing to stroke his ego as much as his cock.

            Her compliance drove him wild, earning an increase in his pace. He kissed her forcefully and sloppy. She held on tight, wrapping her legs around him and returning the desperation and absolute aching hunger in their kiss.

            There were a lot of things Steve wasn’t confident or skilled enough to do, but fucking wasn’t one of them. Steve was a generous lover, an insatiable lover, and a goddamn immaculate lover. He wouldn’t stop until his partner was gasping his name and begging for more. He wouldn’t give in until she’d cum. He knew he was incredible in bed and that made him try even harder, always pushing it further. Nothing got him hotter than feeling her shake against him. He knew he was the King.

            On the other hand, Pepper had had her fair share of terrible lays: the boring, the fast, the men who were too afraid to nestle their faces between her legs. Steve was different and she knew it from the first time they’d been together. She’d held every other man that ever dared to crawl into her bed up against Steve. Every one of them fell short. She’d spent the last two years praying that someone could rock her world like he did, they couldn’t, and every time she had cum she’d been thinking of him. It was so good to have him back inside, it was so good to be screaming his name to an audience.

            The line for the bathroom was growing and someone began to pound on the door. The pair ignored it and continued.

            They looked into each other’s eyes as they struggled for breath, heaving against one another. This was the first time they’d had sex without a preceding argument. This was the culmination of everything they’d ever wanted.

            Pepper dug her nails into the back of Steve’s neck and shouted his name louder as she came. He buried his face in her neck and pulled her tight to him as he erupted.

            They stared at each other, laughing at themselves. He brushed her cheek with his thumb then slowly traced her lips with it. She kissed it softly.

            “We should get out of here before they break down the door,” she giggled.

            He grabbed her panties and handed them to her. “For you.”

            “Keep ‘em,” she blushed.

            He bit his lip, scrunched them in his hand, and then shoved them in his pocket. He fucking loved this girl.

            She jumped off the counter as he did up his pants.

            Before moving to the door he stole a kiss. “You’re going to be the death of me, Pep.”

            He kneeled down, motioning for her to jump on his back and she obliged. He picked her up and carried her out of the bathroom to a crowd of mixed expressions, some angry, some impressed. Among the faces were Nancy and Jonathan. Both looked horrified. Steve nodded to them.

            “Oh, Steve. Grow up,” Nancy responded.

            “Oh, Nancy. Relax,” Steve joked. “Hey, Jonathan.”

            Steve set Pepper down and she held onto his hand. She was feeling a little sheepish now.

            “Hey, man. Enjoying the party?” Jonathan rocked back on his heels.

            “Guilty.” Steve smiled. “Hey, Nance, sorry I was a dick last night.”

            “Well, Billy seems to bring out the best in people.” She looked to Pepper, smiling awkwardly, yet sincerely. “Hi, Pepper.”

            Pepper and Nancy had never spent a lot of time together as kids, but they’d crossed paths and when they did it was always pleasant. Nancy knew Steve and Pepper were a Hawkins mainstay every summer and she also noticed Pepper’s absence after she and Steve had dated. She never asked Steve about Pepper and he’d never brought her up, she’d assumed many things about this. But Nancy was far from surprised to see the two of them exiting the bathroom together, obviously head over heels in love. In love in a way she and Steve never were. In a way she’d never seen him with anyone. She was happy for him. He’d finally gotten it right.

            “Hi, Nancy.” She gave an embarrassed little wave, as Jonathan grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug.

            “Pepper Riley!”

            “Jonathan Byers!” She squeezed him tight.

           While Steve and Jonathan were not friends as kids, the same couldn’t be said for Jonathan and Pepper. Pepper would babysit Will every so often when she was in town because Penny had worked with Joyce and vouched for her very responsible granddaughter to watch him. Sometimes Pepper would stay and hang out with Jonathan whenever he got home and they would watch movies because they had similar tastes. Every once in awhile they’d check out a flick at The Hawk, platonically. That’s all there was to it. She’d always considered him a friend, nothing more. He may have had a fleeting childhood crush on her but he never made it known and it was never profound. He knew she and Steve were Hawkins’ Hottest Summer Romance every year running, even when they didn’t. He also knew that his friendship with Pepper made Steve’s blood boil.

            One of the main reasons Steve hadn’t liked Jonathan was because he was friends with Pepper when they were younger and Steve would get jealous. It couldn’t be said that Pepper didn’t enjoy making Steve squirm for the attention when they were teens either. She knew he was jealous and she thought if she flirted _just_ enough with someone else that he’d tell her he liked her. Ultimately it worked, but it helped created the animosity Steve harboured for Jonathan throughout most of high school. Jonathan wasn’t surprised Steve continued to be shitty to him when Steve started dating Nancy, and Jonathan, while having long since buried the hatchet with Steve, took a little pride in having taken a girl from his once smug tormentor.

            “How have you been?” Pepper asked, backing out of the hug. Steve threw a protective arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Old habits die hard.

            “Great! Hey, isn’t it your birthday?”

            “Not for another hour.”

            “Well, let me be the first to wish you Happy Birthday anyway.”

            “I think Steve beat you to it,” Nancy laughed.

            “She said she wanted something big.” Steve was real proud of that one.

            The three of them groaned in unison.

            Nancy looked to the washroom. “Look, I can finally go pee!” She headed in and shut the door.

            Jonathan turned to Steve, “I was home when you called Hopper at my mom’s. He mentioned checking out the lab later?”

            Steve shot Jonathan a warning look. Pepper obviously wasn’t privy to all of the horrors of Hawkins.

            “Why was Hopper at your house? Is everything ok?” Pepper asked.

            “He lives there.”

            “What?”

            “Oh yeah, him and my mom are getting married this spring.”

            “Wow, that’s great. Jesus, I’ve missed a lot.”

 

*

            The last time Pepper had seen Jim Hopper she was riding in the back of his patrol car. It was Samantha’s fault.

            It was early in the summer of ’83. As usual, Steve’s parents were out of town, but at seventeen he didn't need a chaperone anymore.

            Pepper and Brad had been over at the house all day when Samantha showed up. She snaked in the door grinning wide, “Steven, pop the lock on the liquor cabinet and let’s live a little.”

            “My dad’s going to notice if we keep stealing from it. I can only hide so many bottles at the back.”

            “Well one more couldn’t hurt.”

            They didn’t know how wrong she was about to be.

 

            One bottle of expensive wine that earned Steve an ass kicking from his father, turned into the rest of a bottle of tequila and as Brad puked in the kitchen sink Samantha wanted to move this party elsewhere. She was on the phone with one of her senior friends who was having a really cool, really exclusive, really radical party on the other side of town.

            “Totally, we’ll be there.” She hung up and addressed the group, “We gotta get across town, _Stacy Linderman_ is having a party,” she said it like anyone gave a shit about whoever Stacy was. But Sam was incredible at talking people into things.

            Pepper rubbed Brad’s back as he continued to dry heave into the sink, “I think we’ve had enough fun tonight. Let’s just watch a movie.”

            “Yeah, come on, Brad’s too sick to go,” Steve reasoned, rocking slowly, already a drink past too many.

            But Brad didn’t want to be shouldered with killing the party, so between gags he mustered, “No, no, I’m fine. Let’s go.”

            Samantha clapped excitedly. “Yay!”

            Samantha scurried into the front hall and slid back into the kitchen with Steve’s father’s car keys swinging from her index finger. “Let’s go in style.”

            “Are you fucking crazy?” Steve whipped them out of her hand.

            “Steven, listen,” she began, pouring him another shot and pressing it into his hand, “you wanna be King Shit? We gotta roll up to this party looking cool. It’s a senior party. A _senior_ party.”

            Pepper watched Steve twist under Samantha’s influence, he was terrible at saying no.

            As Samantha continued, she handed the bottle to Pepper, nudging it up to her lips, encouraging her to have just one more drink. “We have to show them we belong there. No one that isn’t a senior got invited.”

            Steve considered this. “Why can’t we take my car? It’s cool.”

            “Is it a convertible? Because if it isn’t, then that’s your answer. We’re taking your dad’s car.”

            “Can’t we walk?” Pepper asked.

            “Walk? What are we? Homeless?” Samantha barked, slipping the keys from Steve’s hand.

            “Yeah.” Brad absolutely had to agree with Samantha.

            Pepper was outnumbered, drunk, young, and stupid. Stupid enough to get in the car because Steve grabbed her hand and led her to the door and she didn’t want to stop holding it.

            Samantha helped Brad into the backseat and climbed in. She tossed Steve the keys, absolving herself of the responsibility of getting them to the party.

           

            Ten minutes later the car was screeching into the ditch. Steve smacked his head against the steering wheel and was blinking blood from eyes as his forehead bled. Pepper wanted to cry, but she was too busy trying to keep him awake.

            “Steve!” She shook him.

            “Pepper, we gotta get the fuck out of here before the cops show up!” Samantha was sweating bullets in the back.

            Pepper smacked Steve’s cheek, “Hey, Steve. Look at me.”

            “Yeah?” He was a wreck.

            “Pepper, grab him, let’s go!”

            Pepper rounded on her, “Just fucking leave then!”

            Samantha considered this for a second and then she did. She grabbed Brad and the two disappeared into the trees, leaving Pepper and Steve holding the bag.

            “Pepper, I don’t feel good.” Steve could barely keep his eyes open.

            “I know, I know, but you have to stay awake, ok?” She could hear sirens getting closer; someone in the neighbourhood must have called the police. She had no idea what to do, but she knew his father was going to kill him, so she pulled him across the seat and sat behind the wheel. He squeezed her hand, he was scared.

            She felt the bile rise in her throat as a patrol car pulled up on the shoulder. Within seconds of its arrival, Chief Jim Hopper was shining a flashlight in her face. He recognized her immediately; she’d been busted with wine coolers behind The Hawk two weeks ago with Samantha Harrington. She was the one that wasn’t mouthing off.

            Before he said anything, she started to cry, “Please, he needs help.”

            Jim knew Steve had been driving, he could tell by the gash on his forehead that he’d hit the steering wheel. He watched this very drunk, very scared teenage girl beg him for help while taking the blame for Steve’s mistake. He knew the Harrington kids were wild asses and he wasn’t about to let her fall on her sword for some spoiled rich brat. But he wasn’t going to let him sit in the car, concussed and shaking, as punishment either.

            “I’m going to need you to help me get him in my car, ok?” He wanted her to calm down.

            “Ok.”

            Jim went around to the passenger side, perfectly capable of getting Steve to his car himself, but he knew it would make her feel better to be helping, “Pepper, please come here.”

            She did nothing more than hold Steve’s hand as Jim helped him stumble into the back of the patrol car.

            “Make sure to keep talking to him,” Hopper explained from the front seat.

            Pepper couldn’t remember a time she’d felt worse, but she needed Steve to be ok, so she shoved everything else to the side, “Steve, can you talk to me?”

            He slumped against her shoulder, struggling to stay awake, “I’m so sorry.”

            “It’s ok. You’re fine. You’re going to be fine.” She forced him to sit up straight.

            He looked at her, “You’re so pretty.”

            Jim eyed them in the rear view mirror. This girl needed to save herself before this kid destroyed her life.


	5. I'm All Yours

            Pepper was rocking back in forth in a chair in the waiting room of the E.R. Since Steve’s parents were out of town she knew that it was Penny’s wrath the pair would have to endure.

            Hopper sat next to her while they waited to hear from the doctor about Steve’s condition. “I have to call your grandmother, ok?”

            “Please, not yet.” She seemed so small. Her words tumbled out in a desperate whisper.

            Hopper took pity on her. She was a sweet girl.

            “I have to ask you a couple of questions, Pepper.”

            She looked up at him, bleary eyed, still a little drunk, and absolutely lost.

            “How much did Steve drink before he drove?”

            “He-“ she caught herself, “-I-I was driving.”

            “No, you weren’t.”

            She started to cry, cementing her guilt.

            The doctor appeared in the waiting room. “Pepper Riley?”

            “Yeah?” She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

            “You can go back now.”

            She looked to Hopper, as if to ask permission. He nodded as he stood. He had questions for the doctor so she could have her moment comforting a boy who he felt in no way deserved it.

            She hurried back to find Steve sitting with his feet dangling off the side of a hospital bed, forehead bandaged, looking completely shaken. He looked up and saw her. Just seeing her made this complete disaster a little less world ending.

            “Pepper?” He reached out to her and she crashed into his arms. “Pep, I’m so totally fucked.”

            “Oh my God, you’re ok.” She left a gentle kiss on his neck as he hugged her and he considered for a brief second in time that this kiss had made the entire accident worth it.

            “I told Hopper I was driving,” she whispered.

            It was in that moment Steve Harrington realized he would die for Pepper Riley.

            “What? Why would you do that?”

            “Because I don’t want your dad to kill you.”

            “You’re so stupid.” He nuzzled into her hair. There was no goddamn way he was going to let her take the blame for his bullshit.

 

            Hopper found himself driving Pepper and Steve to Penny’s house, as she had had a couple glasses of wine and made the choice not to drive to the hospital. Something she expressed to Hopper at least three times during their phone call. Pepper knew she could have caught a taxi, but it was a big _fuck you_ to the two teenagers that were going to pay in spades for their mistake when they got home.

            Steve had adamantly declared his guilt to Hopper on the ride home no matter how many times Pepper interjected the contrary. He wanted to make at least one thing right. Hopper found this remotely admirable. He’d expected Steve to take the out. Despite this glimmer of righteousness, Hopper hoped Pepper wouldn’t waste any more of her time following this total fuckup around.

            Pepper could see the silhouette of her furious grandmother in the porch light as they pulled up in front of the house. She was not excited to leave the safety of Hopper’s car.

            “Pepper, you go on ahead, I need to talk to Steve.”

            Steve slid his hand along the backseat and gave Pepper’s knee a squeeze before she exited the car and she shooed his hand away. It wasn’t until she saw her grandmother that she realized how angry she was with him and, even more so, how angry she was with herself. She took a deep breath, swore to herself to strangle Samantha, and slunk out into the unforgiving night.

            Steve could hear Penny shouting across the lawn. As he watched Penny drag Pepper into the house he felt like such an asshole.

            Hopper sighed, “Ok Steve, why don’t you tell me exactly what happened.”

            “I got drunk, I convinced Pepper to get in my dad’s car with me, and I’m the one who drove it off the road.” He had no idea why he was still protecting Sam and Brad, but he chose to omit their involvement.

            “I’m going to have to talk to your parents when they’re back on Monday.”

            “Yeah, they’re going to fucking love that.”

            “Watch your goddamn mouth.”

            “Sorry.”

            “You could be a hell of a lot sorrier. You could have been killed. You could have killed her, too.”

            Steve’s stomach flipped at the thought of it and he almost threw up. How could he have been so irresponsible? If Pepper had been hurt he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself. He felt his world closing in on him and the tension rise in his chest. He tried so hard not to, but he started to cry.

            Hopper wanted to grab him by the shirt collar and shake him, but as he watched this kid agonize he felt the feeling pass. He hoped this moment would sit with Steve forever and that he’d learn a goddamn thing or two. “Listen, I’d like to kick your ass three ways from Sunday, but legally I can’t. Can you pay to have your dad’s car towed?”

            “Yes.”

            “Ok, good. Now, you fucked up really bad, but thank God nobody other than yourself got hurt and you can still walk away.” Hopper couldn’t believe he was going to let this little shit off without charging him. “I don’t want to mess up your life, kid, so I’m going to make this a lot easier than you deserve.”

           

            Steve tiptoed across the lawn after Hopper graciously let him off with a monumental amount of fines, his next four weekends picking up trash, and a shitload of demerits on his licence. Things could have been a lot worse. He had no idea why Hopper showed him mercy. Hopper did it so Pepper could feel like her heroics weren’t in vain.

            The last thing Hopper had said to Steve kept repeating in his mind.

            “That girl deserves a hell of a lot better than you.”

            At that point, Hopper was absolutely right.

            By the time Steve reached the door Penny was swinging it open and yanking him inside. She tossed his ass down on the couch in the living room next to Pepper.

            “Steven, what in the hell were you thinking?”

            “I’m sorry.”

            Penny opened her mouth to say something else, but she was interrupted by the sound of the glass door in the kitchen being slid open. Brad and Samantha were trying to sneak into the house without anyone noticing. They weren’t nearly quiet enough.

 

            The four were lined up on the couch getting read the riot act. Afterwards, Samantha was sent home. Brad was sent upstairs. And Pepper was tasked with making sure Steve didn’t fall asleep through the night because of his concussion.

            Penny made him up a bed on the couch downstairs, fussing that he had enough pillows to be propped up safely. Pepper pouted from a nearby armchair, wanting so badly to go to sleep.

            “Don’t you dare close your eyes, young lady. You are each other’s problem tonight.”

            She stuffed another pillow behind Steve’s head, “Are you comfortable?”

            “Yeah, thanks.”

            “That’s too bad.”

            Steve wasn’t used to Penny being mad at him. He had no idea he could feel this low.

            Penny walked over to Pepper and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll check on you two in a couple of hours. So help me God, you better _both_ be awake.” With that she went back upstairs.

            Steve peeked over at Pepper. Her eyes were shooting daggers.

            “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

            “You could have died.”

            “You could have died and that’s worse.” He inhaled sharply, wanting to give her the option, but praying she didn’t take it. “If you don’t want to hang out anymore I understand, but I really hope I get the chance to make it right.”

            She had no idea just how many chances she could muster for Steve Harrington. She’d spend the next four years exhausting her reserves.

            She pulled a raggy afghan over her shoulders and limped over to the TV to put on a movie. He struggled off the couch and came up behind her, throwing his arms around her waist from behind. “Pepper, I’m so sorry. I could have hurt you and it was the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever done.”

            “You did hurt me.” She knew she should push him off, but her heart won the battle and she leaned back against him, happy to be in his arms, happy he was alive.

            He rested his chin on her head. “Are you going to stop hanging out with me?”

            She turned around. His hands stayed firmly on her waist. “I should.”

            He nodded, she was right.

            She continued, “but you’re my best friend, so I can’t like live without you and shit.”

            Steve wanted to kiss her so badly, but Hopper’s words continued to play over and over in his mind. He didn’t deserve her. He hugged her one more time, satisfied that she wasn’t going to cut him out. “I couldn’t imagine what would happen if you ever stopped talking to me.”

            She gave him a half-hearted smile and stepped out of his grip, turning her attention back to picking a movie. “Go lay back down. You should be resting.”

            He crawled back into his makeshift bed. She popped in a tape and settled into her armchair.

            While she watched the film he watched her out of the corner of his eye, promising himself that someday he’d be a man worth a damn.

            He didn’t wait long enough and six weeks later they were all over each other in his swimming pool, preparing themselves for the next four years of outright anguish.

 

*

            Nancy joined the group in the hallway once more. Jonathan slipped his hand in hers. “You guys want to go grab another drink?”

            Pepper nodded, “That’d be great.” She wanted so badly for this not to be weird, she just wanted to like Nancy and let go of all of the poisonous feelings that Nancy had done nothing to bring on herself, save for liking a boy that asked her out years ago. Pepper was ready to get over it.

            Nancy and Jonathan led the way back to the kitchen with Steve and Pepper trailing behind them.

            Steve felt knots in his stomach. Halloween hadn’t been kind the last few years, between Nancy essentially dumping him at Tina’s and Pepper sending him away the following year. Now he was sandwiched between the two, feeling a little awkward. Things were finally as they should be, though, so he leaned against the counter, grabbed Pepper’s arm, pulled her back against him, and kissed her neck, keeping an arm draped around her waist. She backed up into him as close as can be and began to enjoy herself.

            Jonathan passed the rest of the group a drink as Samantha and Billy noticed them all and wandered over.

            Billy nodded to Steve, “Harrington, hear you’re going by King Steve again?”

            Steve shook his head, smiling. “Just for tonight.”

            Billy laughed and slapped him on the shoulder, leaning on the counter beside Steve and Pepper.

            Everyone had relaxed. The group stood in the kitchen laughing, smiling, and catching up. Old hurts disappeared and tarnished memories faded away as they drank to the storm, to growing up, to Halloween, and to each other.

            Steve shuffled out from behind Pepper and raised his glass to the group. “Hey, hey, guys listen. It’s almost midnight so I just wanted to say a toast to my best friend. Happy Birthday, Pepperoni, I love you. So much.”

            They all raised their cups and cans, wishing her a happy birthday as she stared longingly at the boy she’d always wanted. “Thank you.”

            Steve finished his drink and then kissed her as deeply and as embarrassingly as possible. He was having fun with it and more importantly he was having fun with her. The time had come for them to be happy.

            Well, almost.

            “So Pepper, when are you heading back to Lafayette?” Jonathan had meant nothing by it, but she’d let herself forget about it for the time being and suddenly her heart was in ribbons.

            “Uh, I think I have to leave on Monday?” Her voice was an octave higher than she anticipated.

            Steve started chewing on his bottom lip as he gripped her hand tight. Why was she saying she was leaving? Hadn’t she promised him she would stay? He couldn’t let it go. “Yeah, but you’re coming back like right after that, right?” He sounded so hopeful.

            “Mhmmm.” She slipped her hand from his and poured herself another drink. She had no idea if she could come back, especially if she succeeded in convincing Penny to leave.

            Everyone felt the mood shift and carefully looked to one another. Samantha mouthed _oh, shit_ to Nancy as they recognized Steve’s face drop. He was about to scramble. He was about to be a mess.

            He tried to play it cool, but with one hand on his hip and one in his hair, his unravelling was obvious. “Uh, hey, Pep. Maybe we should get going, huh?”

            She didn’t want to be alone with him now. She knew what was coming. “Yeah, sure, in a little bit.”

            “Oh, because I thought we could go right now.” It wasn’t a question.

            “Ok. Let’s go.” She kept her voice as even as possible.

            Jonathan gave her hug. “Hey, if you do anything for your birthday tomorrow, let us know, alright?”

            “Of course!” Her voice cracked.

            The group said their goodbyes and had their hugs while Steve called a cab from a phone in the living room.

            Samantha pulled Pepper aside before he returned. She spoke hushed tones, “please don’t break his heart again.”

            “I’m not going to.” Pepper stared at her feet.

            “You have to be honest with him. Don’t string him along anymore. He fucking loves you so much and as much as I also love you, if you crush him again, I’m going to have to pick Steve.”

            Pepper looked up at her, realizing she was dangerously close to losing both of her Harringtons.

            “Let him down easy this time, ok? And for the love of God, let it be the last time.”

            Steve came up to them. “Let’s wait outside.”

           

            Pepper and Steve stood apart on the front porch under an awning while the rain still hammered down.

            He was furious with his mouth set in a hard line. “You said you were staying.”

            “Let’s not do this right here.”

            The cab pulled up and she went to grab his hand. He dodged her and walked ahead. She wanted to be angry with him, but she couldn’t muster the bitterness. She knew what she’d promised him only hours ago.

           Steve wasn’t going to have this conversation at his parent’s house in the dark so he gave the cabbie the address to his apartment, not bothering to ask if Pepper wanted to go home, she was coming with him.

            They rode in silence, each growing more and more upset. If he could, he would have ripped his heart out and tossed it out the window. Did Pepper’s cruelty know no bounds? Did he have to bleed for her again?

 

            Pepper sheepishly followed behind as Steve walked up the steps to his apartment. He opened the door and motioned for her to head inside.

            He flicked on a light and slipped off his jacket while she took in the space.

It was tidy, charming, and smelled amazing, but what struck her was how lonely it felt. It was just like Steve.

            “So, you’re going to leave on Monday?” His words were dripping with disdain.

            She tried to be tender. “I have to go back, certainly you must realize this.”

            He scoffed, “yeah, but you can come back here, can’t you?”

            “To no job and no place to live?”

            “To me!”

            “What am I supposed to do!? Live out of a paltry suitcase in my grandmother’s basement forever so you’re not sad? And what if she decides to leave?”

            “ _So I’m not sad_? Wow. You really don’t give a shit about me, do you?”

            “Of course I do! But I can’t just stay in Hawkins!”

            “Instead you want to go home and live in your mother’s basement?”

            “What the hell else am I going to do?”

            “Live with me!” He really hadn’t meant to be so forward and foolish, but it was too late.

            “Steve-“

            “Pepper, I’m serious.” He wasn’t mad anymore. He just wanted her to stay. He crossed the room and took her hands in his. They were both shaking. “If you leave again we both know it’ll be for the last time because I have no other ways I can beg you. If you go you’ll break my heart forever because I can’t chase you anymore. I want to finally catch you. Please, please, please stay.”

            “But-“

            He leaned his forehead against hers and he whispered, “Stay.”

            “It would be insane. We’ve never been together for more than a summer and even then we were never really together,” she said it with no conviction. It was as though she was looking for an excuse not to be happy.

            “Pepper, you don’t want anybody else, so why don’t you make this mistake with me instead? Let’s just see.”

            “We were kids.”

            “Were we kids tonight? Because I’ve never felt this way before. I didn’t know I could need someone this much.”

            She absolutely felt the same. “Me too.”

            “Then you’re saying yes.” Again, it wasn’t a question.

            “Yes.”

            He pulled her tighter, cupping her face in his hands. “If you’re fucking with me, I swear to God, Pep, I’m gonna die.”

            “Yes, Steve, I’ll stay.”

            Steve hadn’t caught his breath since the moment they had met, but for the very first time he felt himself exhale.

            He picked her up and carried her towards the bedroom and she felt drunk, young, and stupid all over again. Stupid because she could be making the biggest mistake of her life but he was holding her and she didn’t want him to stop.

            He gently set her down on the bed. _The bed_ , he thought, _we will share together._

            The sheets felt so soft and inviting and Pepper could see herself wrapped up in them and in Steve for the rest of her life.

            They helped each other out of their clothes and before leaning in they took the time to look at one another. Really look. Steve brought a hand up to her face, gently petting her cheek, as he had done dozens of times, but this time Pepper’s heart flipped in a way that it never had before. This time when he touched her she knew it was for real. It was for forever. No one else would ever have Steve Harrington and no one else would ever have her again.

            He had never seen anyone so beautiful and he’d never been so wholly hung up on and overwhelmingly in love with anyone else. If she asked him to die right then, he would have done it with a smile on his face.

            For a brief moment he let uncertainty creep back into his thoughts. What if she did leave on Monday? He willed the idea out of his mind. There was no goddamn way he could let her do that. He’d drive her to get her things himself. He would lovingly wrap every knick-knack she owned in bubble wrap and bring them and her back to this apartment with him. She was never going to break his heart again. He’d bubble wrap that, too.

            She let a hand roam up his chest and circle the back of his neck, pulling his face to hers. As their lips collided, he eased himself inside. A tiny gasp eked past her teeth. She’d had him over and over today, but every time felt like the first as butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Her legs travelled around his hips and she crossed her ankles, pulling him ever closer.

            They stared into one another’s eyes, telling each other everything and nothing. Pepper trickled her fingers along Steve’s spine and he shivered under her touch, nestling his face against her cheek. She could feel his breath hot against her face and she could hear the rasps trembling in his throat. He managed to whisper, “I’m all yours.”

            She was done for.  

 

*

            The end of November 1985 had brought the winter chill to Lafayette, but it was nothing compared to the frost firmly encased around Pepper’s heart.

            Samantha had called her three weeks prior, on the night she and Steve got home to Hawkins, to tell Pepper that he was a mess. “Please don’t take his calls, he needs to sweat you out.”

            “I don’t want to talk to him anyway.”

            “You’re full of shit, but I’m asking you, as my best friend, to let him get you out of his system.” Samantha was silent for a moment. “Are you doing ok?”

            It was one of those horrifying moments where you’re fine until someone asks you and it tipped Pepper over the edge. Samantha could hear her stifling a sob on the other end of the phone. “Pep, I’m sorry that you guys can’t figure this out. I think it’s a waste.”

            Pepper heard a door open and close in the background on the other end of the phone. Sam covered the receiver and Pepper tried to make out the muffled voices. It was Steve.

            “Who are you talking to?” She heard him ask.

            “Nobody.”

            “Give me it to me.”

            She could hear hands gripping at the phone and then it disconnected. Samantha was trying to save him from himself.

            As the dial tone rang in her ear, she wished that Steve had won the match and that they were screaming their hurts at one another instead of being placed in timeout by Sam.

            Pepper didn’t know what Sam had told him that night, but he didn’t try to call after that.

            However, that night in November, Pepper came home to an envelope her mother had left her on the kitchen table. She recognized the way her name was scrawled on the back, not having to look at the return address to know it was from Steve. Her hands shook as she turned it over. She debated ripping it to pieces and sparing herself the heartache it was sure to contain. Instead, she retreated to her room with the envelope in hand, needing so badly to know what was inside.

            Pepper sat crossed legged on her bed with the envelope in front of her. She whispered _fuck it_ and tore into the letter. It was a single sheet of loose leaf and scribbled on it were confessions she would torture herself reading too many times over the next two years. She would read them until the paper was nothing more than a wrinkled memory.

 

            _Dear Pepper,_

_I know you don’t want to talk to me but I wanted to have one chance tell you that you really broke my heart and I have to   stop letting you do this. And I guess it’s only fair that I stop hurting you too. So I guess this is like goodbye or something. Fuck that sucks to write. Anyway I promised Sam I wouldn’t put us through this shit anymore so I’m just going to say that I still hope all the best for you. I wish I was part of that._

            It was a stream of consciousness at best, but it was breaking her heart all over again. She could feel where he was broken and she started to cry.

_Why did you send me away? You know what I would prefer you didn’t tell me. I don’t want to know why I’m not good enough for you. I wish you’d come back here and say I was. Wow I can’t believe this didn’t work out. I was so sure of us. I know it got totally derailed but I thought it would always end with you and me. Ok well just be happy. I’m going to try and forget you. I know I won’t but I’m still going to try. Even though you’d come back and you’d smile at me and like a fucking idiot I’d tell you I’m all yours._

*

            She took his face in her hands and he noticed the tears in her eyes, but her body was begging him to continue. She let her fingers trace the soft space beneath his eye, then dance over his lips, trickle down his neck, and rest on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. It was beating for her.

            He slowed his pace. He wanted to be inside of her for as long as possible. She cooed happily, hoping that somehow every thrust into her would absolve her of the guilt she carried. He hoped the same as he filled her. With each thrust he testified. With each thrust they forgave each other for the years spent torturing one another and the years spent torturing themselves.

            The storm still continued to whistle at the windows and threaten to bring the house down, but they didn’t mind. Pepper was no longer afraid of thunder. Steve would keep the demons away.

            Their lips met as Steve felt her tightening against him. She began to tremble and his breath quickened. She dug her fingers into his back, gripping intensely at his skin. He pulled back and they kept their eyes locked as Pepper came harder than she ever had in her life. She barely articulated his name as she arched into him. He watched the pleasure wash over her in waves and it sent shivers through him, urging his cock to erupt. He threw his head back as he moaned, filling her with his cum. Nothing turned her on like Steve finishing inside of her. She continued to shake against him as her hand travelled into his hair and she pulled his mouth back to hers. Their tongues found each other and they made out like stupid teenagers as Steve grabbed her and rolled her on top of him.

            Pepper pulled away and looked down at him. They smiled and this time there was no apprehension behind either of their eyes.

            “I’m sorry I didn’t get you something different from last time after all.”

            “I’m not.”

            She snuggled in beside him and he propped up on his elbow so he could continue to look at her. He trickled his fingers up her thigh, love drunk and giggling.

            He sang, “Itsy bitsy spider crawled up his girlfriend’s leg. Itsy bitsy spider made her scream his name.”

            She laughed. “You’re just so sure of yourself aren’t you?”

            “No. Never. But I am sure of you.” He bit his lip, trying to stop himself from continuing to grin like a complete fool. He couldn’t.

            “So girlfriend, hey?”

            “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant the girl I’m going to live in sin with.”

            “I like girlfriend better.”

            “Me too.” He booped her on the nose.

            “I guess that makes you my boyfriend.”

            “I’d like to think so.” He splayed a hand on her stomach, enjoying her warmth. “Tell me you love me again.”

            “I love you.”

            He kissed her neck. “Again.”

            “I love you.”

            “Mmmm, one more time.”

            “I love you.”

 

 

            Hopper’s night had been a total fuckup from start to finish. He’d meant to drive past the lab hours ago but the station wasn’t spared in the power outage so he’d spent the last six hours fighting with the generators and taking calls from hysterical locals. Halloween pranks were already in full swing and everyone was celebrating what he liked to refer to as “Asshole Day” early.

            Finally, at one in the morning, he was able to leave things in the not so capable hands of his deputies and make his way to his car.

            He slid into the driver’s seat and tossed his hat off. He just wanted to get home to Joyce and not think about eggings, smashed windows, masked creeps, and least of all, the goddamn lab. But he’d promised Steve.

            Hopper had spent many years thinking Steve was a moron at best and at his worst a spoiled prick that needed his ass kicked. Not anymore, he was proud of the young man Steve had become and how hard he was working to prove to him that he should be on Hopper’s payroll. Hopper agreed; he was going to be a good cop. He was going to be a good man.

            Jim lit a smoke and drove towards the lab. He fiddled with the radio, trying to find anything other than Monster Mash. The closer he got to the lab the fuzzier his reception.

            “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

            He twisted the dial and drove the rest of the way in silence.

            Hopper had no idea what to do when he pulled up in front of the fenced off building to see lights on in a corner room.

            “You’ve really got to be fucking kidding me.”


	6. Believe Me, I Intend To

            Steve pulled on his boxers and headed for the bedroom door.

            “Where are you going?” She looked at him like she might burst into tears if he was out of her sight. She had never liked the look of vulnerability, it fit her like a shrunken sweater, but she had already shown him her hand and it was far too late to pretend she wasn’t all in. All in and wearing a disgustingly tight sweater. So she let herself look unabashedly pathetic as he crossed the room.

            She was so goddamn cute with her watery eyes and the blankets balled up in her hands, clung tight to her chest. Seeing her so small and raw in his bed, looking at him like he was the man he always hoped he would be someday, was too much. He knew full well that he would be her fool until the day he died.

            As he happily resigned himself to this, he came back over to the bed and crawled over her, nuzzling into her neck and speaking between soft kisses. “To the kitchen. I’m starving.” He nibbled at the space where her neck met the top of her shoulder and she let out a giddy purr, rubbing her cheek against the side of his face.

            “Do you want me to make you a sandwich? You’ve gotta be hungry after all the non-stop sex with the King.” His signature shit eating grin made another guest appearance.

            “You’re such an idiot.” His grinning was contagious and a smile broke across her face. She wanted to eat him up.           

            “So you don’t want a sandwich?”

            “No, I do.” She went to get up.

            “Stay here, I’ll bring you one.” He kissed her forehead.

            “Don’t leave.” She pouted and slipped her fingers in his waistband.

            “Wow. You’re so needy.” He ruffled her hair once again and she smoked him with a pillow. He laughed and crawled off of her. “I love you, stupid.” He moved to the door and made his way to the kitchen.

            Pepper wrapped herself in a sheet and went to the window. She watched the rain pelt against the glass and she slowly traced a finger along the streaks it left on the other side. It was cool to the touch, but she let her fingers dance happily among the patterns. They twisted in all directions, coming together at the bottom of the pane, and creating a small puddle on the windowsill. It was like their romance, they’d shot off in so many directions over the years until they, as always, ran together, and their hearts melted into a little puddle in each other’s arms.

            She wasn’t going back to Lafayette. She was going to leave all the bullshit behind and start over. The more she thought about it, the less it was about starting over and the more it was about finishing what she had started over a decade ago. She was going to live with this ridiculous boy and they were going to be ridiculously happy.

           

            Steve hurried around the kitchen, closing drawers with his hips and shutting the fridge with his foot as he balanced various kitchen flotsam in his hands.

            “Do you need some help?” Pepper called from the bedroom.

            “No, no. You stay cuddled up, I’ll be right in.”

            The phone rang in the living room and Steve looked to the clock on the stove, it was one thirty. “Who the hell could that be?”

            Steve set everything down on the counter and hurried to the phone, picking it up after four rings. “Hello?”

            “Oh good, you’re home.” It was Hopper.

            “Hop? It’s late.”

            “Listen, I don’t want you back over at your parent’s until I can figure out what’s going on.”

            Steve lowered his voice, hoping Pepper wouldn’t overhear. “What do you mean?”

            “I’m not sure, exactly. There were some lights flickering on at the lab, but I don’t want to bust in in the middle of the night during a storm. I’m going to go back tomorrow morning.”

            Steve looked towards the bedroom. “Should I come with you?”

            “No! No. Steve, promise me you’ll stay put. I don’t want you tangled up if there is something going on.”

            Hopper had changed over the last few years. He’d softened a little. He was no longer shooting first and asking questions later. Now he had a daughter and a fiancée to get home to every night. If it came down to it, he’d lay his life down for them and for his two sons, Will and Jonathan, well, three if he was counting Steve and by this point, he was. Steve’s dad did him no favours, so Hopper felt the need to take up the task. He just wanted to be the best father possible, sometimes to anyone. But he couldn’t be foolish and trigger-happy anymore. He couldn’t worry Joyce and leave her to pick up the pieces if something happened to him. He had to be much more careful.

            “Well, I gotta go get Pepper’s stuff from Penny’s tomorrow then.”

            “Pepper’s in town?” _Oh no_ , Hopper thought. This was Steve’s weak spot, his soft belly. “Is she with you?”

            “Yeah, she’s here.”

            “Ok. Keep her there.”

            “Believe me, I intend to.”

            Hopper rolled his eyes. He could hear the lovesickness bubbling from Steve’s lips and he knew how easy it was for the two of them to forget to use their goddamn brains around one another. “Alright, I’ll call you tomorrow when I can. It’s Halloween so it’s going to be a nightmare at the station. Just promise me you’ll stay away from the trouble.”

            Pepper crept down the hallway and leaned against Steve’s back, resting her soft cheek against his warm skin. He reached around behind him and grabbed her hand, lifting it to his face and leaving a kiss on her palm. “I promise, so don’t worry about me.”

            “Good. Goodnight.”

            “Night, Hop.” Steve hung up the phone. He was worried. Why were the lights on? How did the lab have power? He shook it off quickly.

            Steve turned to face Pepper. She looked adorable wrapped up in the bed sheet. “You look like a sexy ghost.”

            “It’s my Halloween costume.” She nodded towards the phone. “Why was Hopper calling?”

            “Uh, job stuff.”

            “At one thirty in the morning?”

            “Cop hours.” He kissed the top of her head. “Let’s get you that sandwich.”

            She didn’t believe him at all, but she was hungry and tired so she followed him into the kitchen with no more questions asked.

           

            After they had their snack they wandered towards the bedroom, hand in hand. Five steps from the door, Steve pushed Pepper up against the wall in the hallway and held her wrists above her head, causing the sheet to slip from around her body and to crumple around her ankles. He pressed up against her and they began to make out. He let go of her wrists and slid his hands down her back until they were cupping her ass, which felt so good in his grip. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She couldn’t believe how insatiable he was, but goddammit if she wasn’t excited about it. She giggled as she threw her arms around his neck.

            By the time they made it to the bed, his boxers were long gone and he was already pushing himself inside. He brought one of her legs to his shoulder and pounded into her deep as he desperately nipped at the skin on her calf. Her hands flew to her mouth to stifle a scream, but he batted them away.

            “Don’t be shy.”

            “What will the neighbours think?” she whispered.

            “Lucky her.” He flipped her over. “Back up.” He tugged at her hips, entering her from behind. She thought she might just die.

            “Holy shit.”

            He licked his fingers and reached his hand around her leg to tease her clit as he slid himself in and out of her wetness.

            “Steve, oh my God.”

            “Tell me how you want it.”

            “Faster.”

            He complied, grabbing both of her hips tight and bouncing her on his cock. The sound of her slapping against him was almost too much for him to take and he had to slow down. She heard him exhale sharply and smiled to herself.

            “Can’t handle it?” she chuckled.

            He wasn’t going to let her win. He pulled out, except for the tip and slowly dipped it in her entrance. The head of Steve’s cock was an achievement in itself and her toes curled as she waited for him to give her everything. But he wasn’t. And she was in agony. Every time she tried to back up against him he would hold her hips in place and continue to tease her, slowly.

            She went to push back harder, but he was quicker and leaned back farther, keeping just enough of himself inside her to make her groan in distress. She was simpering and writhing like she needed to be put out of her misery and he was loving every second of it. He may be her fool, but she was putty in his hands; the hands that were digging into her sides and holding her unrelentingly tight.

            She tried arching her back. She tried shuffling her knees, but Steve was much stronger than her, which only made matters worse. As desperately as she wanted him to fuck her stupid, it turned her on that his strong hands could demand she stayed put and suffer. He licked his bottom lip as he watched her struggle against his grip to try and ease herself down on his shaft. His new obsession would be watching her need it so badly.

            He pressed one hand on her lower back, steadying her, and he let the other gently slide up her back, between her shoulder blades, and then reach around and grip her throat. He could feel her pulse thudding against his palm. It quickened as he let his fingertips curl a little deeper into her quivering flesh. “Ask nicely.”

            She was desperate for him to fill her and her voice trembled. “Please.”

            “Please what?”

            “Please fuck me.”

            “Like this?” He pushed himself all the way inside, hitting all the right places, and she gripped at the blankets, pulling them to her mouth and howling into them.

            “I couldn’t hear you.” He pulled out. “You mustn’t have liked it.”

            She turned her head to look at him, wide eyed. “What’s wrong with you?”

            He grabbed her waist and flipped her back over, throwing her legs over his shoulders and burying his face between her thighs. He lightly drew circles around her clit with his tongue while inserting two fingers inside of her. Steve kept his eyes locked on hers. She looked so sexy with her mouth open, panting his name. As he pumped his fingers inside, he found her g-spot and pulsed his fingertips on it. He felt her stop breathing so he ceased and lifted his head. His face was glistening from her wetness. He maintained eye contact as he licked his fingers clean. He wasn’t going to miss a drop.

            Steve got back to his knees and turned her over once more. He grabbed her by the hips and slid her down on his eager cock. He was ready to let her cum.

            Pepper clenched against him. She was tired, she was emotional, and she was completely fucking fulfilled. Steve Harrington was finally her goddamn boyfriend. It had taken over decade, but he was _hers_. She wanted this boy forever. And she wanted to cum. Every orgasm he’d given her today felt like a victory and she was ready to take home another win.

            As the tip of his cock hit her g-spot once more she collapsed to her stomach, riding the waves of pleasure coursing through her body.

            Steve’s hands roamed over her back, resting on her ass, where he left a light, lovingly, smack and enjoyed the jiggle that rippled under his touch.

            “You’re so beautiful, Pep.”

            She rolled over to smile up at him. He was still hard so she pushed him over and took him in her mouth. His eyes fluttered shut as his hands drifted into her hair and he laced it around his fingers as her tongue explored his shaft.

            “Oh my God.”

            The only thing more impressive than Steve’s bedroom prowess was Pepper’s gag reflex, or lack thereof. She heard him gasping as she bobbed up and down. The entire way down.

            “I’m gonna cum,” he managed.

            “Mhmmm.”

            She was going to let him cum in her mouth and the thought of it was enough to make him finish. “Oh fuck.”

            She felt his hands tighten in her hair and then his cock twitch as he emptied inside. She was incredibly satisfied to have Steve trickling down her throat.

            It was nearly too much for him to feel her swallow hard while he was still resting inside and she could feel him shudder. She lifted her head and smiled at him, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

            “Jesus Christ. Come here.” He pulled her up and held her to his chest.

            She left a soft kiss on his neck before cuddling up. “Steve?”      

            “Yes?”

            “Do you really think this is a good idea?”

            “I think this is great idea. And if it isn’t, I’m still gonna keep you here and you’re going to love me whether you like it or not.”

            “Oh I like it.”

            “Good, because you’re stuck with me, Pepperoni.”

            _Finally_ , she thought.

            He pulled a blanket over them and kissed the top of her head. “Goodnight.”

            “I love you.”

            Steve smiled, he was the happiest he’d ever been.

 

            The next morning Pepper woke up alone. She popped one eye open and took in the unfamiliar bedroom, which looked quite different in daylight. She sat up and ran her hand over the space beside her. Last night’s events flooded her memory and alarm bells started ringing. She’d agreed to live here. This was her bedroom now. Instinctually she thought about pulling her clothes on and climbing out the window, but she fought it. She wasn’t going to run. She’d meant what she said and while she was terrified to see it through, the thought of being apart from Steve again was worse. She loved him and she was ready to get her heart kicked in the ass again after all.

            Steve pushed the bedroom door open with his knee. He was holding two plates of food. “I made you breakfast.” He smiled at her. She was happy to see him smile so easy. It was big, sincere, eye crinkling, teeth bared, hopeful, and sweet. She hadn’t seen him smile like that since they were kids. She felt her mouth break in a similar fashion and wondered if she’d smiled like this since she was young, too. She hadn’t. Steve noticed.

            “Thank you.”

            He passed her a plate and sat down beside her, watching her face as she read the _HAPPY BIRTHDAY!_ scrawled on her pancakes with chocolate syrup. She lit up like a Christmas tree. This was the best birthday she’d ever had.

            “This is so sweet, Steve.”

            He was proud of himself and he was going to kill it at being a good boyfriend. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Happy Birthday, Pep.”

           

            Once the pair finished breakfast, Pepper hopped in the shower. She had no sooner turned the water on when Steve ripped open the curtain, causing her to scream.

            “Hi.” He smirked and slid in with her.

            “Steve. God. You scared the shit out of me.”

            “I wanted to show you how roomy the bathtub can be.” He pulled her to him and kissed her as the water beat down on them.

            She could never resist Steve when he was soaking wet and she let her hands tangle in his hair as he pulled her to the bottom of the tub.

 

            Pepper stepped out of the shower after their aquatic adventure and wrapped herself in towel. Steve followed closely behind her.

            Her eyes scanned the bathroom counter, falling on a cup with a solitary toothbrush sitting inside. “I need to get my things.”

            “Of course. I’ll drop you off while I check on my parent’s place. But I wanted to take you out today, so you promise you won’t be too long, yeah?” He came up behind her, petting her shoulders, and meeting her eyes in the mirror’s reflection. He wanted her to himself, but more than anything, he wanted her as far away from Hopper’s warning as they could be.

            “Sounds good.”

            “Wanna use my toothbrush in the meantime?”

            “Ew!”

            He crinkled his nose, offended. “You literally swallowed my cum last night, but you won’t share my toothbrush with me this once?”

            “I guess when you put it that way.”

           

            With Pepper’s car at Penny’s and Steve’s at his parent’s, they had no choice but to take a cab across town. Steve held the door open for her as she slid into the backseat. She was wearing last night’s clothes, but her panties stayed tucked in Steve’s pocket.

            The cab pulled up in front of Penny’s and Steve leaned over, kissing Pepper on the cheek once again. “I’ll be back in an hour, ok?”

            “Ok.”

            “I’m going to miss you.”       

            “Wow. You’re so needy.” She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and yanked him in for a kiss before exiting the car.

            He watched her walk across the lawn with an excited bounce in her step. He knew it was because of him and that made his heart soar.

 

            Pepper swept in the front door and did a happy little spin in the hallway. Twenty was going to be amazing.

            “Peppy, is that you?” Penny called from the kitchen.

            “Hi, grandma!” Pepper was practically floating by the time she reached the kitchen table where Penny was enjoying a coffee along with her crossword puzzle, which she always did in pen. This was a habit Pepper had adopted. Despite Pepper’s inability to commit to nearly anything, doing a crossword in pen was the ultimate form of confidence and control. It had been the one little place she felt in charge. Until now and her five-letter word for the future was waiting to show her how good saying yes could be.

            Pepper left a kiss on the top of Penny’s head and then glided over to the coffee pot to help herself.

            “Aren’t we in a good mood?”

            “I sure am.” Pepper smiled.

            “I’m sure it has nothing to do with Steven or with the fact you didn’t come home last night.” Penny looked at Pepper over the top of her glasses.

            Pepper hummed in agreement, taking a sip of her coffee.

            “I suspected as much.” Penny pointed to the chair beside her. “Come sit.”

            Pepper obliged and Penny grabbed one of her hands, leaving a kiss on the back of it. “Happy Birthday, my Pepper. I’m glad to see you so happy.”

            “Thanks.”

            Penny’s face grew serious. “What are you going to do when you have to go home?”

            “I’m not going home.”

            “Pepper Marie Riley, don’t be ridiculous.”

            “I’m not. I’m moving in with Steve.”

            Penny sighed, but she was betrayed by a smile. “Is that so?”

            “It is so. I know that it sounds stupid.”

            “Oh, it most certainly does.” Pepper went to say something, but Penny lifted a hand and continued, “But I always knew you two were going to be together. I knew it from the time you were just a little shit. So, at the risk of enabling your stupidity, let me ask you, do you love him?”           

            “Grandma, I love him something awful.”

            Penny booped her on the nose. “He absolutely loves you, too.”

*

            Shortly into the winter of ’85, not long after Steve had sent his goodbye letter to Pepper, he found himself wandering up Penny’s walk and knocking on her door.

            As Penny cracked open the door, she was surprised to see a boy, who’s energy had on more than one occasion made a disaster of her house, looking sullen, small, and defeated with his hands shoved in his pockets looking up at her sheepishly. “Steve, what are you doing here?”

            “I just dropped by to see if you needed me to shovel your walk.”

            Penny could see how broken he was and motioned for him to come inside.

           

            The pair sat at the kitchen table and Penny slid a hot chocolate in front of him.

            “Thanks.”

            Penny didn’t need to say anything. She knew he was pining and wanted to be in the house he and Pepper grew up in. He was looking for ghosts of her in every corner.

            After a long sip and a longer silence Steve asked, “does she ever say anything about me?”

            Penny reached across the table and took his hand. “Sometimes.”

            “Does she hate me?”

            Penny pursed her lips and sighed. “She couldn’t if she tried, but right now, she is trying.”

            “I miss her so much. I wish I didn’t fuck it up.”

            Penny got up and went to the cupboard above the sink. She came back to her seat with a bottle of whiskey and poured some into her hot chocolate and then some into Steve’s. “Well, that’s the thing about love. Fucking it up is half of the fun.”

            “I’m not having any fun.”

            “You will. It’s not over, Honey. I promise.”

 

 


End file.
